


Paint It Black

by Winter_Gray



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, BDSM, Humor, M/M, Non-Consensual, Romance, substance/physical/mental/sexual abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-09-16
Updated: 2013-11-03
Packaged: 2017-12-26 19:41:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 18
Words: 33,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/969554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Winter_Gray/pseuds/Winter_Gray
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>100% unapologetic Wincest by special request. Sam/Dean child-adult, denial of their sexual attraction/romantic love for each other. BDSM, underage sexual situations. Verbal/ emotional/ physical/ substance abuse. Self inflicted pain, forced sex, brutal, fantasy, role play, feminization, angst, romance, love, first time, humor. mature readers, 18 and over. I don't own the SPN characters</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A gift to my Yaya, my inspiration and muse.  
> This started out as one story but when it is all said and done there will be two endings and you pick. One will sew everything up neatly but the second ending will have portents of Paint It Black part 2 which will be me unchained from any restraint of a gift story.  
> It will have Lucifer and Castiel battling for the Winchesters in not very pleasant ways and the brothers love and devotion will truly be put to the test.
> 
>  
> 
> Now sit back, relax and enjoy the ride.

Please Note, the complete story which is over a hundred chapters can be found through this link. I haven't been about to download the chapters here and have been doing copy/paste and its very time consuming. Sorry about that! https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9361921/1/Paint-It-Black-Part-1 or just look me up there under Winter Gray ..................................................................... 

John Winchester was a twisted man who was driven by tragedy and lose. The death of his wife Mary took its toll on his heart to the point where others suffered for his choices. Hunting down the demon who took her from him and along the way destroying anything evil in his path was a single minded goal.  
There was always collateral damage that he never really saw, the two sons Mary was forced to leave behind at the moment of her death. Sam and Dean Winchester were the ones who suffered for his single minded passion for search and destroy.  
John Winchester drank to burn away the tendrils of pain that threatened to wrap his dreams with nightmares, enough to make him sleep through a baby crying and a little boy desperate to have a father to help him.  
………..  
Dean looked into the makeshift crib at Sam, he was crying again and Dean busied himself making Sam a fresh bottle and lifting the squirming baby out of the drawer. He sat on the bed and laid his brother on a pillow he put on his lap then gave Sam the bottle.  
Dean was good at taking care of Sam, in fact he excelled at it. Sam gave Dean what he needed a reason to get up in the morning, a reason go on and the unconditional love you can only get from babies and pets.  
………..  
Sam had an incredible memory, everything that happened to him was carefully cataloged and stored for safe keeping. His first memories were of the green eyes looking down on him. Even as a baby he knew those eyes meant comfort, food, and love.  
If he woke up and the green eyes weren’t there or the gentle hand with a bottle he screamed because that was all he knew. He recognized the voice that said things like, “Don’t worry Sammy” or “I love you Sammy” and he instantly stopped and relaxed.  
He recognized his father but it was not who he wanted to see, it was Dean, always Sammy’s Dean.  
………..  
Dean ran in the motel room after kindergarten was over, he was worried about Sam, a new town, a new sitter and more strangers. When Dean walked in she was sitting on the bed watching TV, smoking a cigarette and eating chips while Sam cried.  
Dean picked him up, Sam was heavy but carried him like he was nothing even at his tender age Dean was a strong kid, “Why is he crying?”  
She shrugged, “I don’t know, I changed him and gave him a bottle. Look kid I gotta go so pay me.”  
Dean handed her the other half of the ten dollar bill John had left for the sitter, before Dean left for school he torn it in half giving her one part while he kept the other telling her, “You get it when I get home from school”  
She folded it up with the other half and shook her head, “You are one weird kid, tell your old man I’ll be here at the same time tomorrow.”  
Dean checked the fridge and the bottle he made for Sam before he left was still in there, he opened the door for her and looked up at woman with frustration, “No don’t come tomorrow we don’t need you cause I’m not going to school.”  
She flicked her cigarette on the ground and walked over to her old dodge, “Suit yourself, he’s a pain in the ass anyway.”  
Dean wanted to cry but he didn’t have the luxury of tears, Sam’s were the only tears he was worried about. She didn’t give him a bottle at all, Dean warmed it up and gave to his brother Sam drank it quickly. “Boy you were really hungry. I’ll make you another later ok?” He rest on the bed with Sam on his chest rubbing the babies back until he heard him burp.  
Dean started to fall asleep until Sam decided to mouth his brother’s shoulder and soaked it with spit, he opened his eyes and sat Sam up on his stomach, “Gross Sammy.” He laughed when Sam smiled, it always made him happy when his brother smiled. “You are too cute you know that right?”  
Dean put on cartoons and got himself a bowl of cereal, he wolfed down half a box and then went to check on Sam, he felt the diaper and it was soaked, when he took it off the rash was angry hot to the touch.  
Dean ran a bath, took off his clothes and got in with Sam. “Its ok Sammy, I’ll get you all cleaned up, you’re gonna feel a lot better.”  
Afterward he toweled his brother off carefully and rubbed him with ointment and put on a fresh diaper. Dean crawled under the blanket with Sam letting the baby fall asleep on top of him. The pressure of the little warm body on top of his was comforting like an extra blanket during the winter.  
“I love you Sammy.”  
……….  
The next morning John made a rare appearance, he brought in groceries, formula and diapers. Dean dug through the bags, “Daddy there isn’t any ointment or powder, Sam has a bad rash.”  
John messed up Dean’s hair, “Well he wont die without it will he?” I’ll be back in a couple days, here’s ten bucks for the sitter.” John kissed them both on the head and took off again.  
Dean pocketed the money and got dressed, he looked down at Sam, “Sammy, I’m going to the store but I promise I’ll be right back ok?” Sam reached up and grabbed Dean’s scarf, “No I gotta go get some stuff. Promise your gonna be a big boy and not cry.”  
Sam’s cheeks turned pink and his face screwed up for the beginning of a crying session. Dean sat on the bed frustrated trying to figure out what to do, He went to the motel office and knocked on the door.  
A woman answered with a baby on her hip, “what do you want kid?”  
“My brother needs diaper rash stuff and baby powder but I can’t leave him alone to get it, you got any I can borrow?”  
The woman started to laugh, “Well if I give you any I don’t want back.” Dean didn’t get it, “So does that mean I can borrow some?”  
She looked down at the little boy with amusement, he was skinny with big green eyes, a sprinkle of freckles and a buzz cut. He looked like life had already given him a kick in the ass a couple times over but he kicked back twice as hard.  
“Alright come in and get you some, what’s your name and why aren’t in school, what are you first grade?”  
“I’m Dean, we don’t have a sitter and I’m in kindergarten.”  
“Not much of a talker, are you Dean?”  
Dean shrugged and sat on the couch, the TV was tuned to Days of Our Lives and the curtains were drawn. He looked around while he waited. She put her baby on the couch next to him, she came out a few minutes later and handed him a tube of cream and a container of baby power.  
“My name is Lois, look Dean you can’t keep missing school. I can watch your brother for you tomorrow until you get someone else alright?”  
Dean examined her carefully and then got up going from room to room without asking, he came back and nodded, “Ok I’ll let you, it looks safe enough.”  
She broke out in a smile, “Well thank you Sir, glad you trust me with the mission.” Dean suddenly looked down at the floor and his voice shook, “Thanks Lois I’ll bring Sammy over tomorrow before school, I gotta walk so its gonna be early.  
She got on her knees and looked at him face to face, “Hey come on now, chin up Dean. Life isn’t always going to suck I promise.” She wanted to hug him, he looked like he needed a thousand hugs to make up for all the ones he missed but she knew he wouldn’t accept it. He was too hard to admit he needed one so she patted his shoulder instead.  
………….  
The rest of the school year went in that direction, Dean would drop Sam off at the office and Lois would watch him, they never talked again about Dean finding someone else to watch Sam.  
Lois only saw their father periodically so she kept an eye out for both of them without Dean being aware of it. Most nights she would make too much for supper and give some to Dean. He was always polite and thanked her and the next morning all the flowers would be watered before school, she knew he did it but he never told her.  
Sometimes Lois would bake too many cookies or have clothes her nephew out grew but would fit Dean perfectly. She ended up being as close of a thing to a mother Dean had since Mary was killed.  
Lois had a hard childhood like Dean, moving for place to place, no parent most of the time and fending for herself so the plight of Sam and Dean Winchester plucked at her heartstrings.  
Life was almost normal as it could be and then John decided to move and change their lives once again.  
…………..  
Dean was packed and ready to go, he had Sam dressed and was waiting for John to come and uproot the boys from their little life at the motel. There was a knock on the door and it was Lois coming to say goodbye.  
Dean let her in and she took a seat at the little table by the window, Sam was on the bed , feet up in the air examining his fat little toes finding them about the most fascinating thing at that moment and giggling.  
Dean went over and stood next to her and for the first time touched her first, he rested his forehead on her shoulder. Lois was afraid to hug him but he moved closer to her lap and she pulled him up and put her arms around his waist.  
He made eye contact when he was ready and those big green eyes were filled with tears. He wiped them with his jacket sleeve. Lois felt her heart breaking, “Hey Dean its ok to cry you know, everyone does it.”  
“Only babies cry, Sam cries but I don’t,” and then he burst out crying like a dam letting go.  
Every pain in his short five years that he pushed down washed over him and he hugged this woman he would never see again, the only person that never made Dean feel embarrassed, never made him feel like a burden and allowed him to go to school by watching Sam and didn’t make him out to be second class.  
She didn’t know what to say so she hugged him tight and for once he relaxed and let her do it and if felt good.  
Lois pulled some items out of her pocket, the first was in a leather sheath and the second in a little chamois bag, she handed them over to Dean, “These were my husbands, I hung on to them figuring someday I’d find the right person to appreciate and take care of them.”  
Dean pulled the 110 folding Hunter lock back Buck knife out and his eyes opened wide and for once he smiled, then he opened the bag and a classic Zippo lighter was inside.  
“Now don’t cut yourself, do you know how to open it?”  
Dean carefully opened it and touched the blade with proper respect, then he tried the lighter and the flame snapped on, Dean flicked his wrist and the top closed. “Wow, thanks Lois. These are the best gifts ever!”  
It was her turn to wipe her eyes, “My husband was an avid hunter and he always had these with him, he used to tell me a guy should have two things with him at all times, a good, solid Buck knife and a Zippo lighter and you could get out of lots of tough spots.”  
Dean fingered the shiny metal of the lighter and looked up at her, “Where is he now, he don’t want ‘em anymore?”  
“Lou died last year right before I had Amy, he was in the military,” Lois started to choke up, “He was a career guy you know? I took care of the motel and he went off and got killed. I miss him…that’s how I know you lost someone really special. Its something in a person’s eyes that nothing else can duplicate.”  
Dean frowned, he looked down at the knife and lighter then held them out to her, “You better keep these then, they are special.”  
Lois pushed his hand back, “No Dean, I know Lou would love to have a great kid like you to have them. If he was here I think you would get along really well.”  
She grabbed Dean’s little face and looked at him seriously, “I know now who I was saving these for…you Dean, the Winchester brothers are going to do great things, and that little angel over there loves you.”  
She smiled at Sam and the baby smiled back, “Dean, I know Sam is just a baby but you will be able to count on him as you both grow up. Blood is everything, as long as you both have each other the world can’t beat you down.”  
John was pulling in and Dean jumped off her lap and quickly hid the items in his pocket. He motioned for Lois to bend down and he kissed on the cheek, “Love you Lois, thanks.”  
Later she watched the Impala slowly pull out with Dean in the back holding Sam on his lap, she heard “Paint It Black” by the Rolling Stones blast through the open window. Dean had his face pressed against the glass watching her, she waved and he waved back.  
“Good luck little guys, love you both.”  
TBC


	2. Sweet Child O' Mine

John was holding Sam on his lap, the tot didn’t look happy at all. John came back for Sam’s second birthday and Dean went to get the camera Bobby gave him.   
When Dean ran back to the living room John was jiggling Sam on his knee but Sam looked like he was going to be sick. “Daddy stop it, Sam ate a bunch of cake and he looks like he’s gonna barf.”  
Sam vomited chocolate cake over John’s work shirt, John grabbed the toddlers little arm and lifted him, Sam started to scream, Dean held him up and when John let go Dean caught him.  
“Damn it Dean, now look what happened, I don’t have a clean shirt. I guess you are going be doing my laundry now aren’t you?” Dean set Sam on a chair and licked his lips nervously, “Yes Sir, can I clean Sam up first and put him down for a nap?”  
The way John glared at the boy let him know he better get his ass in gear and do laundry. He didn’t want to leave Sam alone with their father and Dean didn’t know what happened to the toddlers arm yet. The way Sam screamed for all he knew it was broken.  
Bobby ran into the house out of breath, “What happened…the boys are ok?” Bobby spotted Sam on the chair screaming and holding his arm, there was vomit down John’s shirt.  
John took it off and threw it at Dean, “Do all the laundry, fuck up.” Bobby balled up his firsts and forced himself to take a deep breath, “I’ll do the laundry John, let Dean clean Sam up and then we can talk.”  
Dean looked confused until John pushed him toward Sam, “Well go on then, clean him up.” Dean brought his brother to the bottom of the stairs and waited until he caught Bobby’s eye and gestured for him to come with Dean.  
Bobby hitched his thumb toward the kitchen, “Go drink some coffee, sober up I’ll throw your clothes in John.” He picked up the shirt and followed the boys upstairs. Sam was still crying and Dean set him on the bed they shared, when he took off his brothers shirt, Dean could see the outline of a large hand wrapped around it.  
Bobby walked in with a wet wash cloth and wiped Sam’s face off, “Hey there son just let me do it,” Sam struggled so Dean took it and kept wiping while Bobby checked out his arm.  
“Son of a bitch, that is going to bruise something fierce.” He gingerly moved it and felt along the bones, “I don’t feel anything broken or shifting around but I have to bring him in Dean, I can’t tell if there is fracture.”  
Bobby carried Sam downstairs and he had cried himself out, now he made little pain filled sounds and then called for Dean.  
“I’m takin’ the boy in to the doctor, I have to be sure nothing happened and you are no condition.”  
John watched them darkly, “Then leave Dean.” Dean started to bite his nail and looked at his father.  
“No John, he comes with me.”  
“They are my kids, you take Sam and Dean stays here or Sam can stay here take your pick.”  
Dean looked up at Bobby, “Just take him, I can stay and get the laundry done ok?”  
Bobby knew there was no point arguing with John, he ran his hand over the top of Dean’s head and smiled, “Hey I wont be gone long, Sam here is a tough little guy.”  
Sam was sucking his thumb and looking at Dean over Bobby’s shoulder, “Ok take care of him….promise?” Bobby put on a cheery expression, “Of course son.”  
Dean’s face was full of worry as he watched Bobby drive away with Sam.  
He quietly started to do laundry and then was going to go upstairs when John stopped him, “Dean get over here.”  
Dean paused and then turned around walking over with his head down, John grabbed his face, “You know you should have warned me he ate that much.”  
“I’m sorry Sir.”  
“What do you think I should do about it Dean?”  
Dean held his tears back, “I don’t know.” John gestured to Dean patting his lap, “Come here.” Dean dutifully climbed up and waited, it was going to be a kiss or a slap and he never knew which it would be.  
John wrapped his arms around Dean and held him too tight and it hurt, “I love you Dean you know that right?”   
“Yes daddy.”  
“Dean I’m always going to have to be harder on you than Sam because you are bad and wild like a little stallion that needs breaking and discipline is the only way I can do that, if I hurt you it means I love you.”   
Dean looked at his father, anger contorting his face, “I love Sam and I would never hurt him like that, you hurt his arm Daddy. I don’t think that’s love. I’m a good boy, I’m not bad or wild and I’m not a horse.” After Dean blurted it all out he knew he made a mistake.  
Johns face turned red and he stood Dean up, John took off his belt then roughly pulled off his son’s pants and boxers then pulled him across his lap. “You really are a smart ass Dean, lets see how smart you are after this.”  
Dean wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of crying out as he was spanked with the belt but when it got too painful he started to squirm which made John strike harder until Dean started to sob, “Stop daddy I’m sorry, I’m bad..it hurts.”  
“Did you learn your lesson?”   
Dean felt an urgent need to urinate, “Please daddy I have to pee.”  
John ignored him, “I asked you a question…did…you …learn your lesson?” Before Dean could answer his bladder let go, he couldn’t hold it anymore and wet Johns lap, the remainder ran down his leg.   
Strangely John didn’t move and let it happen, he waited until Dean was finished then he lifted him off, stood the boy in front of him and grabbed his face, “I guess you have more laundry to do now.”   
John got up and stripped naked then handed the urine soaked clothes to Dean, “Better throw yours in there while you’re at it Dean then hop in the shower with me or you are going to smell like piss.”  
Dean gathered the wet clothes and walked to the laundry while John went to shower.  
………….  
Bobby came back with Sam hours later, he had to wait in the emergency room a long time. When he carried him upstairs to the boy’s bedroom and opened the door he saw Dean was in a bathrobe resting on his stomach, his hair was wet from a shower.  
John was also in a robe sitting next to Dean with a tube of Sam’s diaper rash ointment , the boys robe was pulled up and John was massaged the ointment into the red belt marks on his bottom and lower back. Dean didn’t move, his eyes were red and the rest of Dean’s face was covered with his arms.  
Bobby took in the surreal scene in front of him and his stomach felt queasy, he set Sam down next to Dean and the toddler immediately lay down next to him and patted his head then kissed it, he smiled at him and said, “Dee”  
“John why don’t you come downstairs with me and let them sleep.”  
Dean looked up at Bobby, “Is his arm ok?” Bobby nodded, “Sound as a pound Dean, I told you he was tough, just be sure he is careful with it. Its going to bruise and Sam is going to sore for awhile.”  
Bobby waited for John, he put more on his hand, closed the tube and smeared both cheeks again worked them in his hands. Dean squeezed his eyes shut and Sam hugged him. Bobby couldn’t stand it anymore, “John…now…stop, lets go.”  
John got up, “That should do it, tomorrow you’re going be good as new.” Dean didn’t move, John looked at him disgusted, “Cover yourself up for Christ sake, you look like a little whore.”  
……………..  
Bobby sat down and glared at John, John sat on the couch and lit a cigarette, “What…Sam is ok right?”  
“What the hell was all that up there John, what happened?” He shrugged, “Dean got smart mouth with me so I had to spank him, then the kid pissed all over me.” He made a disgusted face, “I washed him up in the shower and afterward I felt bad so I was rubbing his bottom with that ointment…..I guess I went overboard with the spanking this time.”  
Bobby slammed his fist on the arm of the chair, “You bastard, what do you mean by “this time” how many times has it happened? Bobby held up his hands, “You know what, don’t even tell me, I want the boys John…please I want them.”  
John laughed at Bobby, “Why would I do that? They are my kids, I love them.”  
It was Bobby’s turn to look disgusted, “Do you know how fucking weird that whole thing was upstairs, who does that? What father rubs his boy’s ass with lotion like that, Christ …it was creepy John.”  
John examined his fingernails like he had never noticed them before, “I suppose a father that goes overboard with a spanking, I was trying to fix it.”  
Bobby closed his eyes and willed himself not to beat his friend until he was dead. “You can give me the boys, and get yourself together…or…they can go to foster care when I tell the police everything. Do you want them with me or with strangers John, your pick.”  
“I want Dean, I need him around.”  
“No, take it or leave it, if you pick door number two you might go to jail.”  
John jiggled his leg and watched Bobby, he could tell he was as serious as a heart attack, “Fine Bobby you win, I can see them anytime I want. Someday if I want to take them back I will.”  
“You can visit but don’t count on taking them back, not without a court order.”  
………..  
The next morning Bobby came downstairs and John was rocking Dean on his lap, “You know daddy loves you baby, I didn’t mean to hurt you. Sometimes you just get me angry.”   
Dean was so relieved his father wasn’t angry anymore he hugged him tight and kissed him on the lips, “I know daddy it was my fault, you really love me again?”  
John kissed him on his full little lips and smiled, “How could I not love such a pretty face and sweet little freckles…I could kiss each one. If you stay pretty for me Dean I’ll never stop loving you.” He ran his hands over Dean’s bottom, “How is your rear today?”  
Dean looked at him desperately afraid he would say the wrong thing and make him mad again, “Real good I promise.” He tried to smile at his father.  
Bobby started to feel queasy again and lifted Dean off, “Your father has to go Dean, get Sam so you both can say goodbye. You are both going to live with your old uncle Bobby.”  
Dean walked painfully toward the car holding Sam’s hand and when John picked up Sam he started to cry. John handed him to Dean, “Just take him.”   
Dean gently set Sam down and grabbed John’s legs hugging them tight, “I love you daddy, you me love right?” John didn’t bother to look down, “Yeah I love you Dean, I have to go.”  
Bobby told the boys to go into the house, when they were out of earshot he handed John a bag, “Here is your fucking precious clean laundry, just go John and I hope I don’t see you again.”  
John grabbed the bag,” Oh you will, I’m giving up my kids that easy.” He got in the Impala and took off down the gravel path, the windows were open and “Sweet Child O’ Mine” by Guns N’ Roses was blasting.  
…………..  
Dean was sitting on the couch with Sam watching the Impala pull out, relief went through his body. Dean felt free for the first time since Mary died, he hugged Sam and kissed his curls, “Everything is going to be great now Sammy I promise, just you and me, I wont let anyone hurt us anymore.”  
Sam giggled and hugged his brother back then stood on the couch and kissed Dean with wet little baby kisses all over his face until Dean started to laugh and wiped off his face. “Gross Sammy, you got spit all over me.”  
Bobby watched them from the entryway and smiled to himself, as long as Sam and Dean had each other Bobby knew they could survive a world full of real monsters and demons, even the human ones.  
TBC


	3. Rituals

Dean got off the bus and started down the long gravel drive to the house, Sam had been watching from the window waiting for him.  
“Uncle Bobby, Dee came back!” He zipped past Bobby running barefoot along the gravel not feeling a thing. Dean broke into a smile, hefted up his backpack and walked quickly toward him.  
Sam was yelling his name, “Deeeeee.” And Dean dropped his backpack scooping him up and swung him around, “You sound like a siren Sam.” Sam grabbed his neck and clamped on with his little legs.  
Bobby grabbed Dean’s backpack and carried it for him now used to their daily ritual. Every afternoon was the same, Dean came home from school, Sam sat like a little puppy waiting for his master to return then zipped around Bobby as fast as his little legs would carry him running to meet his beloved brother.  
Sam would yell Dean’s name and Dean always dropped his backpack and Bobby always picked it up. Dean grabbed him, did the swing and Sam clung like a baby possum all the way to the house.  
Bobby loved the boys so much, it was like having his own kids and they were both so good Bobby bragged about them constantly to the other hunters. He worried sometimes that John would show up but Sam was turning four and it had been two years with no sign of John.  
Occasionally there would be a letter from him addressed to Dean and written on motel stationary asking about them, telling Dean how much he missed him especially and how much he loved them. Bobby could have thrown the letters out but he always dutifully gave them to Dean.  
Bobby felt it wasn’t his place to throw them away even though it broke his heart to see the excitement in Dean’s eyes when he read one. Bobby had another and when they were sitting at the kitchen table he handed it to Dean.  
His sweet face was all smiles as he tore it open, his green eyes moved rapidly reading it, he looked up at Bobby, “Daddy says he loves me uncle Bobby.” Bobby smiled tightly, “Well that’s just fine Dean.”  
Dean looked down, “I think its my fault he left me and Sam, he said I was bad and wild. I made him so mad that he had to hit me but I deserved it.”  
Bobby was taken aback that Dean, after two years, still thought about that day and blamed himself. “Look at me Dean, you did nothing wrong at all…period. Your parents are supposed to protect you, never hurt you son, you got me?”  
Dean looked at the letter then at Bobby and the tears threatened to spill out of the haunted green eyes, “But he loves me…right uncle Bobby?”  
Bobby picked his words carefully, “John loves you in his way Dean. Its not a good way all the time though but that is his problem and has nothing to do with you. A lot happened to him in here,” Bobby tapped his head, “and John wasn’t the same.”  
Dean crumpled up the letter and threw it away, “He hurt me I remember that, not just that time.” Bobby put his arm around Deans shoulder, “I know but your with me now, Dean if you ever want to talk to me you know I’ll listen anytime.”  
Dean quickly changed the subject, he looked up at Bobby and smiled, “What will we do for Sam’s birthday, what happens when someone turns four?”  
Bobby laughed, “Same thing as when he was three, cake, balloons, gifts and anything he wants to eat. Don’t you remember your forth birthday?”  
Dean thought back, “No…I didn’t have them, no birthdays.” Dean brightened up and looked at Sam, “Sammy you want pizza right?”  
“No Dee I want spaghetti.” Dean sighed, “But its almost the same thing.”  
Sam waved for Dean to follow him upstairs, he turned back and yelled, “I want spaghetti, if its almost the same thing then you can eat it, hurry up!”  
Bobby raised an eyebrow, “Well ok spaghetti it is, you better get going Dean your boss wants you.”  
…………..  
Dean ran them a bath and they both got in, bath time was their nightly ritual since Sam was born so when they had the opportunity they took it, it was their time together where the brothers could just enjoy each others company. Sam always sat in front and Dean gently washed his hair making sure he didn’t get soap in Sam’s eyes.  
Sam would stand up and his brother would wash him front to back and Sam always wanted Dean to sing to him. Sam loved his brother’s voice and Dean was a good singer. “Dee sing to me.”  
Dean knew a lot of songs from driving around with his dad and he picked one that was a favorite, “Dust In The Wind” by Kansas.  
He soaped up Sam’s back and started to sing,   
“I close my eyes only for a moment, and the moments gone. All my dreams, pass before my eyes, a curiosity…”  
Dean kept singing as he rinsed Sam off and when he was done Sam stood behind him washing Dean’s hair.  
Dean continued singing softly,“Don’t hang on, nothing lasts forever but the earth and sky. It slips away, all your money won’t another minute buy….Dust in the wind, all we are is dust in the wind…”  
Sam rinsed Dean’s hair then started on his back, “that’s a sad song Dee but I like it, its pretty when you sing it.” Sam stepped in front of him and kissed him. They sat together, Dean hugging Sam to his body until the water got cold then they toweled each other off and got into bed.  
Dean stroked his brother’s waves and smiled at him, “You are going to be four, I remember when you were just born Sammy. I thought I got the best gift ever, I love you.”   
Sam giggled, “I’m not a gift Dee, your silly, I’m you brother.” Dean looked at him with sudden worry, “Do you love me Sammy?”  
Sam crawled on top of him and pulled the comforter over them both, “Yes I love you Dee…you are being silly again.” Sam yawned, “good night.”  
Dean kissed him, “Sam your wrong, you are a gift, goodnight.”  
……………….  
Bobby put Sam’s birthday spaghetti on the table and scooped it in bowls for them. Sam’s hazel eyes were huge looking the big bowl and sprinkled cheese over the top then ate a forkful, “Oh this is so good uncle Bobby, you are a good cook.”  
Dean smiled at Sam and he dug into his own food, they sat and talked about hunting and how Bobby was going to let Dean shoot the 22 Smith and Wesson that weekend.  
The phone rang and Dean ran to get it, he talked quietly for a few minutes and Bobby shouted, “Dean get back and eat, they can call back later.” Sam dropped sauce and noodles down the front of his shirt and he looked worried.  
The boys even after two years still worried when they did something wrong or had an accident. Bobby messed up Sam’s hair, “Hey I guess you better take that off so I can toss it in laundry, good thing you did that because the load I was going to run was a little light and I was just wishing I had a few more things to wash.”  
Sam giggled and pulled the shirt off, “You are funning me.” Bobby looked at him with grave seriousness, “Oh no I would never do that, I was really worried so thanks Sam.”  
Bobby frowned and looked back in the kitchen, “Dean…Dean where the heck are you?”  
…………….  
Dean walked slowly down the long driveway to the Impala, John was standing there with his arms folded. When Dean reached him he didn’t say anything, John lifted him up and set Dean on the hood.  
“Hey Dean look how big you got,” he grabbed his face and turned it side to side, “I think you got even prettier than before. How is Sam doing?”  
Dean started to bite his nail nervously, “Fine Sir.” John looked around and didn’t see Bobby yet, “You want to go for a drive, go get something to eat and talk?”  
“No, we are having Sam’s birthday spaghetti and….cake.” Dean remembered Sam’s first birthday and what happened with his father. John picked him up and carried him to the passenger side. “Get in, I’ll bring you back, I’m just passing through so I want to take you out to eat.”  
Dean got in and buckled up, John pulled out just as Bobby came out yelling and running down the driveway.  
…………  
Bobby wasn’t sure what to do, he had to take care of Sam and the Impala was already out of sight. He ran in, grabbed the phone and started to dial every hunter friend he had in the area to look for the distinctive car and explain what happened.  
Sam was sitting on the couch crying so Bobby picked him up, “Hey now son don’t cry, your dad just wanted to spend a little time with Dean, don’t worry, all my friends are looking for them so they can nicely tell your dad Dean needs to come home and eat birthday cake.” Bobby told them all whoever found John to kick his ass six ways from Sunday.  
John pulled into a truck stop diner and pulled Dean out of the car, he didn’t move and John shoved him toward the door. “Get in there, we are going to have a nice dinner and talk.”  
Dean turned to him and cried, “I want to go home.”  
John grabbed the back of his jacket and pulled him inside, “You are home…home with me.”  
TBC


	4. Hunting The Hunter

The waitress came over and smiled at John Winchester, she wondered who dropped such a ruggedly handsome man in her section and she flirted with him, “Well look at you two good looking guys out for meal.” John leaned back and looked her over, “Well I guess we were waiting for a pretty lady like you to come save us from starvation.”  
Dean had his head down on the table, he looked up at his dad and rolled his eyes, “Gross, now I really don’t wanna eat.” John gave him a look that meant Dean better shut his mouth.  
John grabbed his hand and squeezed it, “Tell the pretty lady what you want to eat son, anything you want.” Dean pulled his hand away, “Spaghetti with my brother for his birthday.”  
The waitress looked from the little boy to his father, “Look I can give you both a couple more minutes.” John smiled at Dean tightly, “Two cheese burgers, two fries, coffee black and a chocolate malt.”   
After she walked away John leaned on the table and growled, “You haven’t fucking changed at all have you Dean…always got to push your old man’s buttons don’t you kid. You piss me off one more time and its going to be Sam’s first birthday all over again…you want that, I think you liked it didn’t you?”  
Dean clenched his fists under the table, “No Sir.”  
The waitress came back with their food, Dean smiled at her, “Lady where is the bathroom?” She pointed across the room and Dean quickly got up and walked to the door and went in.   
There were three stalls and a sink, then Dean spotted what he wanted. There was a tiny window blacked out with paint, he ran over and tried to open it but it was painted shut. Dean reached in his pocket and pulled out the buck knife Lois had given to him what seemed like a lifetime ago and started to rake the paint out from around the frame.  
Dean dug until his hand slipped and his thumb went across the blade and sliced open, he dropped the knife and bit his lip trying not to cry out. He grabbed toilet paper, wrapped his thumb and started again with the knife.   
Dean slowly worked the window up, blood soaking though the paper and running down his hand. He grabbed the garbage can, flipped it over and carried it to the window. It gave him a better view of what was beneath the window and the boy was relieved to see it was bushes.  
Dean got part of the way out when the door opened and a hand clamped around his ankle, it was John. “I wondered what was taking so long, you are a resourceful little guy aren’t you? I’d be proud if I wasn’t so pissed off right now.”  
He lifted Dean out and carried him over to the sink, “You cut yourself, with what?” Dean had slipped the knife in his inner coat pocket next to the lighter. “Nothing…the wood or something.”  
John set him on the floor then kneeled down and ran his hands in Dean’s front pockets then over his bottom and between his legs squeezing the crotch of his pants searching for a knife. Next he felt the outer coat pockets, he put his lips to Deans ear and whispered, “No knife, well that’s something.”  
Dean squirmed under the hot breath in his ear, “I’m sorry daddy, I’m scared.” Dean tried to think of something to say that would change his dads mind and take him home. “Daddy can we go back and have birthday cake with Sam? I know he misses you.”  
John turned Dean around and rested his forehead on the boys, “Maybe tomorrow morning, then we can take Sam with us and be a family again, would you like that?” Dean licked his lips and John smiled at the sight, “Tonight its just you and me ok Dean?”  
Deans eyes teared up and his voice hitched when he spoke, “Ok daddy, you aren’t mad at me are you?”  
John got up and looked down at the boy darkly, “Very mad, now lets eat, we can worry about that at the motel.”  
……………..  
The waitress brought the check over and noticed Dean didn’t eat and his tumb was wrapped in blood soaked toilet paper, she kneeled down and looked in the boys eyes, they were red from crying, “Hey there, not hungry huh? I’ll wrap it up for you.” She took his hand and pulled the paper off and she gasped, “Sweet Jesus, what happened to your thumb?”  
She stood up, “Ok wait right here we got a first aid kit in the back and I can at least clean that and get a bandage on it.” John watched her rush to the back, he threw a fifty on the table, grabbed Dean’s hand and pulled him outside.  
………….  
The waitress got back just in time to see John putting Dean into the Impala, she wrote down the license plate number and slipped it in her pocket. Something seemed off about the way the boy was acting and she was going to call and see if anyone was looking for the child.  
……………  
John was driving back to the motel with “Radar Love” by Golden Earring blasting, he turned to Dean and smiled, “You love this one remember.”   
It was true, some of Deans best memories of his father were of them driving around blasting music and singing together. Dean would stare at his father singing at the top of his lungs and thing how proud he felt being with such a big, strong guy.  
Dean loved it the best when they walked down the street together and woman would smile at his father because John Winchester was just that handsome. Sometimes even men smiled at him in a certain way and Dean felt like he was with a movie star.   
He looked over at John singing to Radar Love and he relaxed just a little because it was like his old dad was sitting in the drivers seat again. John turned the music down and looked at Dean, “What?”  
Dean ventured a real smile and said, “I love you daddy…I missed you.” John looked at him surprised and then touched his face, “I love you to baby.”  
…………..  
Bobby’s phone rang and he grabbed it, “Is this Bobby Singer?”   
Bobby wiped his brow and replied in a shaking voice, “Is this about Dean Winchester?” The woman spoke cautiously, “Look I don’t want any trouble from John Winchester so let me make it short, I saw that car my husband talked about. There was a handsome guy and a cute kid in the diner tonight, something didn’t seem kosher about the whole thing and I noticed the kid had been crying, had a big cut on his thumb.  
Bobby became impatient, “Please just spill it ok? I don’t want to be rude but I gotta find him.”   
“I went to get a first aid kit and when I came back they were gone, I looked out the window and there was the car, black four door Impala, classic and nice looking. He shoved the kid in and took off on the interstate. A suggestion to you Singer, they looked dead tired and there are several motels not all that far from here. You might want to start there.” She gave him the license plate number and hung up.  
Sam crawled on Bobby’s lap, “Was that Dee, is he ok?” Bobby smiled but he was crumbling inside, “No but we are going to get him back soon Sam.” Sam buried his face in Bobby’s old flannel shirt, “I hope so, its time for our bath and Dean never misses.” Sam’s little body started to tremble and Bobby could tell he was crying.  
He laid Sam on the couch and covered him up then pulled out his black book with hundreds of hunter names and numbers. He set about calling every single one. He would hunt down John Winchester and get Dean back if it was the last thing he dead. “You fucked with the wrong hunter John..the wrong one…”  
…………  
Dean walked into the dark motel room, John shut the door and turned the locks then turned on a lamp. His dad told him to take off his clothes and get into bed, John turned on the TV and went into the bathroom.  
Instead Dean quietly unlocked the door and stepped out, they were in the middle of nowhere on a frontage road. The Motel office light was off and there wasn’t a soul around.   
“Dean get back in here.” John was standing in the doorway wearing only his jeans and belt, he stepped out in his bare feet and pulled Dean back by the hand into the motel room.  
Dean dropped his head in defeat, he had run out of ideas and options.  
TBC


	5. Bad To The Bone

John brought Dean back inside and sat him on the bed, he kneeled in front of him and looked into his son’s eyes, “Why are you trying to leave me? I love you Dean, I came back for you and I missed you.”  
Dean pulled his face away, “I want to go home, I want Sam and Uncle Bobby. You don’t really love me.”   
John got up and sat on the bed, he pulled out a flask and drank it down until it was empty. “Well if I’m so fucking bad what does that make you? We are more alike than you think Dean, besides how can I love such a pain in the ass kid like you.”  
He grabbed the boys face, “I’m so pissed off at you for all the embarrassing crap you pulled tonight, you think I’m a fool don’t you?”  
Dean answered honestly, “I think you are a bully and fool.”   
John got up and started to pace the floor, he stopped and stared down at his son, “Well I guess I should live up to the bully part then.” He slid his belt out of the loops, “You know what to do Dean, don’t make me do it because it will hurt even more.”  
Dean pulled his shoes and socks off then his jeans and stood there. John bent down and looked him in the eye, “Everything, now your being a fool.”  
Dean pulled off his boxers and t shirt and put his head down, “I don’t care, hit me if it makes you feel better.”   
John turned him around and pushed him on his stomach, he brought the belt down on Dean’s bottom, “Apologize for what you did.” Dean pushed his face into a pillow and didn’t say anything.  
Three more strikes and Dean screamed into the pillow partly out of pain the rest in anger. “Are you going to say you are sorry?” Still nothing and John started to work a pattern down his back and bottom, “You are a hard one to break aren’t you?” He hit him one more time and the buckle caught Dean on his tailbone causing him to scream. “I’m sorry…I’m sorry I promise I wont try to get away daddy.”  
John sat against the headboard and dragged Dean over to him, Dean’s head was in his lap and he was sobbing, “I hate you…I hate you.”   
John stroked his hair and looked down at his son grimly, “Not more than I hate myself Dean…you lose on that one.”   
John went to the bathroom and ran a bath for Dean, he went back and lifted him off the bed, “You’ll feel better after this.”  
He put Dean in the water, it was too hot and pressure from the hard surface was painful, he struggled and John held him by the shoulders, “It will cool off in a minute, stop being a baby.”   
Dean closed his eyes and tried to think of something else, he thought about Sam, “I can get out of anything…I’m Dean Winchester and as long as I have Lou’s buck knife and Zippo I can get out of any jam…I’m coming Sammy….”  
John took a soapy sponge and washed Dean’s face and hair rinsing him off then did his chest and back. “Stand up.” Dean needed help, he hurt too much and almost fell.   
John sat on the edge of the tub and washed his son with gentleness, the marks were darkening and when he soaped those areas Dean cried out. “Sorry baby…I’m so sorry I did that, I didn’t mean to catch you with the buckle.”  
He ran the sponge between Dean’s legs and slid it up the cleft of his bottom then rinsed him off with the shower hose. “There don’t you feel better?”  
John toweled him off then carried him back to bed, “On your belly.” Dean rolled over and stared at the wall, he heard John going through his bags then felt him sit back down. The cool lotion touched his back and bottom.   
Dean felt his dad’s rough hands kneading his skin, it was painful and pleasant at the same time until he reached the spot the buckle hit and Dean started to cry. “I forgot baby, I’ll stay away from that”  
It went on for a long time, Dean tensed when John slid his hand between Deans legs with the lotion and brushed his genitals. He was mortified to find his body involuntarily responding to his father’s touch and was relieved when he moved on to his thighs and legs.  
he did Dean’s feet, shoulders and arms until the boy almost fell asleep, “I’m sorry baby, do you feel better? Daddy feels so bad, I just want to make you happy.”  
Dean ignored him and just enjoyed the gentle touch instead of being hit. John got up and came back a few minutes later, pulled the covers up over Dean and got in next to him, “Dean come here.”  
Dean pretended he was sleeping but John put his arm around him in a hug.  
He opened his eyes and was face to face with John who started to run his fingers through his sons hair, “You are a pretty kid Dean, use it to your advantage because when you get a little older...oh baby you are going to be a knock out, there wont be a soul alive that will be able to pass you up so make them work for it..you got that?”  
“Yes Sir.”  
“I’m telling you all this because it’s a fucking cruel, hard world and any advantage you have use it. Make it all yours because you got that extra something most people could only dream of having. I can almost see you a bit older, going down the sidewalk with females and males all wanting you. That’s how you get what you want out of life, take them for ride and keep them clamoring for more.”  
John kissed him on the mouth and pulled away, “You are pretty now but you are going to be fucking beautiful someday, the face of an angel and the body of a god. Now lets get some sleep, we have to get Sam tomorrow and I’m not sure how I’m going to do that.”  
Dean closed his eyes, he was disturbed by the kiss, the beating, massage and strange things John was saying. Finally John fell asleep, he waited until his father moved and Dean crawled carefully off the bed.  
He put on his clothes, each movement hurt worse than the last, he crept over to the gear bag and opened it picking through until he found what he knew his father always carried in it. Dean sat on the bed and patiently waited until John started to snore, he had his arm over his head and Dean first clicked the handcuff on the bed rail then the other quickly on John’s wrist.  
John bolted up and was pulled back, he looked at his wrist and growled, “Give me the key Dean.”   
Dean held up the key, “You mean this?” He limped to the bathroom and John heard the toilet flush. He came back out and stood at the end of the bed watching him with slightly glassy eyes.   
Dean took the Impala keys so if John got out he couldn’t follow him then zipped up the gear bag and hefted it over his shoulder, the weight was almost too much and he caught himself before he fell.   
Dean started for the door and stopped, he looked at his father’s leather coat and put it on, it hung on his small eight year old frame but Dean admired himself in the mirror, “Oh I forgot dad,” John looked at him hopefully but Dean wasn’t going to let him go, instead he slipped John’s pistol, hunting knife and black leather wallet into his pockets.   
For good measure Dean grabbed the belt he was beaten with, folded it up and stuffed it in the jacket pocket, “You wont need that anymore, its mine now.”  
Dean went to the door and adjusted the gear bag, “Don’t ever come looking for us again or I will shoot you and I wont miss.”  
Dean slammed the door, he looked up at the night sky and vowed that no one would ever fuck with him again unless he let them. He started the long, pain filled walk toward the highway.  
……………  
Ellen was at Bobby’s watching Sam and Bobby was with a buddy looking for Dean and John, there were two more trucks following. They drove to all the motels around and it seemed like forever. Bobby’s buddy peered into the dark, “What’s that down the road?”   
They pulled down the frontage road and Dean was in the headlights. “Sweet Lord its Dean, pull over!” Bobby jumped out as soon as the truck stopped, he ran over and grabbed the boy, Dean dropped the gear bag and all the bravado he needed to get him home left and he fell into Bobby’s arms.  
The other trucks pulled over and they got out, one of them threw the gear bag in the back. Bobby picked up Dean, “Take him back home, I’m going to get John.” Dean struggled and started screaming, “No Uncle Bobby I want to go with you.” Bobby carefully set him down, Dean grabbed his hand and looked up at him, I want to go back to the motel with you guys.”  
Bobby wasn’t going to argue, he lifted Dean into the truck, he leaned on Bobby and directed them to the motel. They pulled in around the Impala and Bobby lifted Dean out of the truck cab.  
Dean limped over and pushed the motel room door open, John was relieved it was him, Dean looked at him with the same glassy stare, “Don’t look too happy daddy I’m not alone.”  
Dean’s face was hard, there was no pity there. Bobby and the other hunters walked in cautiously then spotted John handcuffed to the bed.  
Dean limped out and left him to the hunters, he unlocked the Impala and got out the car title. Bobby was punching him when Dean tugged on his jacket, “Make him sign this over, I want the car.”  
Bobby and the other hunters paused and looked at each other, then to Dean, “Make him sign it over to you, Uncle Bobby, I trust you to give it to me when its time.” Dean handed his dad a pen.  
John spat blood at him, “I’m not signing over the Impala you ungrateful little shit.” Dean looked at the hunters and slowly started for the door, “Fine, I’ll leave them to finish.”   
John panicked, “No…No Dean don’t go ok its yours.”  
John signed the title over to Bobby, he safely slipped it in his inside jacket pocket. Bobby grabbed the motel stationary and wrote out a formal bill of sale, his hands were shaking from the adrenaline but he got it worked out right. “Sign this too jackass.” John signed it and Bobby slipped it in with the title.  
Dean climbed on the bed and sat on his dad’s chest, Bobby held Johns other arm. Dean pulled out the Buck knife and opened it, “This is how I got the window open stupid.”   
Bobby looked at Deans angry face, “Son put the knife away, don’t do anything you are gonna regret. He knows if we see him again he is gonna end up in a ditch with no fingers or teeth right John?”  
John licked his lips nervously, “Absolutely I promise you are never going to see me again.” Dean punched him as hard as he could and climbed off, he grabbed his hand and tears streamed down his face, “that hurt, its not like the movies.” The blow restarted the bleeding on his gashed thumb.  
The hunters gathered around the bed, they made threats and gave John the beat down of a lifetime while dean reached in the pocket of the leather jacket and found a candy bar, he opened it and started to eat slowly and watched them.  
They pulled the sheet and blanket off John exposing him to the maid that would find him the next morning. Dean tossed the keys to the Impala to Bobby and went out to wait for him in the car.  
…………  
Bobby got in the drivers seat and looked over at Dean, he was going to say something but decided it could wait. Dean fished through his dads tapes and found what he was looking for and popped it in, he planted his black chucks on the dashboard and started to nod to the music.  
“Bad To The Bone” by George Thorogood start to play.  
On the day I was born  
The nurses all gathered 'round  
And they gazed in wide wonder  
At the joy they had found  
The head nurse spoke up  
Said "leave this one alone"  
She could tell right away  
That I was bad to the bone  
Dean said something to Bobby and he turned the music down, “What son, what is it?”  
Dean pointed to the player, “This is my song now.”   
Dean turned it back up and rested his head on Bobby’s lap, it was too painful to sit upright, Dean closed his eyes and smiled to himself, he was going back to his Sam and that was his one good thing. Dean always tried to find the one good thing in a bad situation and it always ended up being his brother.  
TBC


	6. Make A Wish

By the time they all got to the salvage yard dawn was breaking, the three trucks and the Impala pulled up to the house.  
Sam had fallen asleep in Ellen’s arms but when he heard the noise he bolted up upright and shook Ellen, “Wake up Auntie Ellen they are back!” Sam was going to climb off the couch but Ellen stopped him, “Just wait sweetheart, lets watch out the window and see who gets out.”  
Before she could grab him tighter he slipped out of her hands and ran out the door barefoot and impervious to the feeling of the gravel. Sam ran to the Impala just as Bobby was getting out, Sam spotted his brother sleeping on the front seat.  
Before Bobby could stop him he hopped in the drivers seat and then hesitated, his brother looked bad and Sam carefully touched his hair, he bent down and whispered in his ear, “Dee…wake up its Sam…I miss you…open your eyes.”  
Dean opened up his eyes and he saw he was in the Impala, panic filled him until he saw his towheaded brother looking over him smiling and Sam’s merry hazel eyes were lit up with happiness.  
“Oh I missed you so much Dee, I love you.” He hugged his brother and Dean let out a groan. Bobby grabbed Sam and lifted him out of the car, he carried him back to the house and handed him over to Ellen. “Honey look after him, I want to take Dean to a doctor.”  
Ellen pulled out her phone and made a call to Doctor Philip Reese, he specialized in fixing up damaged hunters and their families with no questions asked. His own mother had been a hunter and there wasn’t an injury that could shock him. “Ok Bobby, Phil is waiting for you both so go now.”  
Sam struggled against Ellen, “Put me down, I wanna go.” Ellen held the wild little boy at arms length, “Just take him Bobby or Sam will go nuts and so will I by the time you get back.” Bobby took Sam and set him down, he zipped back to the Impala and climbed in the back.  
Ellen ran over with a pair of Sam’s flip flops, “Hey you can’t go with bare feet Tarzan.” He put them on and leaned over the seat, “Dee, Uncle Bobby can put you back here with me.”  
Dean smiled despite how miserable he felt, “Ok Sammy you can be my nurse.” Bobby helped him into the back and he rested his head on Sam’s lap. Dean closed his eyes, “See I feel better already.”  
Sam sucked his thumb, he was nervous and didn’t really know what was wrong with his brother or what happened. All he knew was Dean hurt and that hurt him as well.  
…………  
Dean was in an exam gown on his side while the doctor examined him, he traced over his back and bottom feeling down his spine. When he got to Dean’s tailbone where the buckle hit Dean started to cry. “Ok I think I might need to get an x ray after I check a little farther.”  
He put on exam gloves and pulled the curtain, “Ok Dean this might be uncomfortable, I’m sorry in advance if it hurts but hang in there.” The doctor put lubricating gel on his finger and tried to be as gentle as he could.  
Dean stared at the white curtain and felt some pressure that turned into an intense pain and burning but he thought about happy things. He never got to have any of Sam’s birthday cake so he thought about singing happy birthday to his brother and eating half the cake.  
Sam yelled over to Dean, “What’s goin’ on over there Dee?” Bobby shushed him, “Sam take it down a notch, the doctor is checking everything out.”  
Doctor Reese felt the tailbone inside and wasn’t sure if it was fractured. He extracted his finger as gently as it went in, pulled off his gloves and went over to Bobby, “Well its maybe a fracture but I’m going to do an x ray”  
Bobby’s face was dour, “So how do we fix it?”  
Doctor Reese motioned for the nurse and she walked Dean over to the x ray room. “Really you don’t fix it. These things heal on their own pretty well but its very painful so watch him closely. I’ll give him something for the pain and you can take him home and give him lots of TLC.”  
Sam looked at the doctor, his face was full of worry, “What can I do, I can help.” Doctor Reese smiled down at him and handed him two suckers, “Well I bet just you being there will help a lot Sam.”  
When Dean came back the nurse helped him dress and Doctor Reese had her take Sam and Dean out of the room, he put the x ray up and he showed Bobby, “He has a bruised coccyx, I didn’t see a fracture but sometimes they don’t show up if its faint. It doesn’t make it any less painful for him though. I’ll send along a cushion for him to sit on and make sure you give him pain medication in the evening if he needs it so he can sleep.”  
Bobby was thinking about all the things that should have been done to John Winchester and it would have been worse than a bruised tail bone. “What caused it…I’m pretty sure I know but tell me what you think.”  
The doctor hated these types of cases with kids involved, he looked at Bobby with empathy, “ He was beaten with a belt and it looks like a buckle mark over the tailbone. That’s a really good guess, I’m sure you all took care of John so I don’t need to report this? I saw faded old marks, you can barely see them but they are there so I imagine this went on a very long time….all over his body but I don’t think he was penetrated. I didn’t see or feel any tearing.”  
Bobby looked at the doctor grimly, “I let my buddies take care of him. I wash my hands of it and if John is still alive and I see him again he wont be breathing for long.”  
…………  
When they got back home Ellen had made them a big supper. She noticed the untouched birthday cake and got out the candles. Bobby wanted to carry Dean in but he waved him away, “I’m not a baby I can walk.” He limped into the house and Bobby helped him up to their bedroom with Sam close behind them.  
Sam pushed Bobby to the door, “I can take care of him, I’m hungry go make supper.” Bobby laughed, “What a serious little mug on you son, fine you want to play nurse go ahead. We can bring food here for you both when its ready.”  
Sam hugged his legs, “Thanks Uncle Bobby I love you.”   
He took the cushion and put it on the bed for Dean. Dean started to untie his shoes and tears came to his eyes, he groaned in pain. Sam sat on the floor and untied them then took off his shoes and socks.  
Dean smiled at him, he was exhausted and hungry but the only thing he could think about was sleeping. Sam helped him off with the big leather jacket and the belt fell out of the pocket.  
“Dee this is not your belt.” Dean bit his bottom lip and took it away, “Just never mind Sammy ok?” Sam shrugged and pulled Dean’s jeans off , his underwear, then his t shirt. He got him in a fresh pair of boxers put them on Dean. Sam arranged the pillows and the cushion on the bed, “You can sit up and eat, Ellen will bring us stuff.”  
He put on cartoons for them both and got in bed with his brother. Dean had been very quiet about everything and Sam wondered what his usually talkative brother was thinking. “Dee what are you thinking?”  
Dean finally gave him a smile, “Geez Sam you sound like a girl or something. I’m thinking about how much I love you and what a good brother you are…is that a good answer?”  
Sam patted his shoulder, “The best answer.”  
…………….  
They had supper together and later when Sam went downstairs for the cake Ellen went up to Dean and sat on the bed, she gave him a painkiller to help him sleep, “Would you like to talk about it honey?” Dean shook his head, “Not yet Auntie Ellen.”  
She kissed his cheek and handed him her phone number on the piece of paper, “Anytime you want to talk don’t hesitate, I’ll ask you again in a few weeks and see how you feel then. I love you Dean, you are good kid.”  
The door opened and Sam was carefully balancing a bowl with a giant slice of cake and two forks, there was one candle, Sam set down the bowl on the end table, “I got to get milk.” He ran back downstairs.  
Dean pointed to his old jacket, “Ellen get me my Zippo.” She got it out and looked at it then handed it to him, “Nice lighter Dean where did you get it?”  
Dean rubbed the shiny metal, “A lady named Lois gave it to me a long time ago, it belonged to a real hero. Her husband Lou, she gave me his Buck knife and its awesome.”  
Ellen smiled at the way his face lit up from the memory, Dean looked proud he owned two such important items. “Well she must have been waiting for a hero to give them to and that was you, I bet her husband would be proud for you to have them.”  
Dean smiled and for a moment the happy memories made the pain fade away, “He was a military guy and super brave, she misses him and she’s got a kid called Amy. Lois watched Sam so I could go to school, she gave clothes and toys to Sam and me because she has two nephews older than us and they outgrew clothes like crazy and got bored with the toys.”   
Dean pause a minute then continued, “I think Amy was lucky to have a hero for a dad even if she doesn’t get to know him, Ellen I think I could have been a good boy for Lou.”  
Dean stopped talking and picked at the fabric on the comforter, a jolt of pain went through him and he took in a sharp breath, Ellen looked at him with worry, “Honey   
I can get you a pain pill, would you like one?”  
Dean closed his eyes trying to concentrate and then let out a breath, he ignored her question, kept his eyes closed and continued, “Lois could cook and bake really good like mom did but she always messed up and made too much so I helped her eat it. She did it every day, Lois said she couldn’t measure stuff.”  
Dean opened his eyes and looked at Ellen, they were bloodshot and tired, his bottom lip started to tremble, “But I told her I was happy to help out.”  
Dean fell over in her lap, put his hands over his face and started to make a low noise that became a gut wrenching scream, he shook all over and she let him, after five minutes he screamed himself hoarse and his body was shot. He took his hands away and whispered, “She is a nice person.”  
Ellen had been crying quietly and wiped her eyes, “Well she sounds like a fine lady, Dean maybe someday you can see her again.”  
Sam walked in with a tumbler of milk, by the time he got to the bed half of it was on the wooden floor, he handed the glass to Dean and climbed on the bed, “Stop talking I want cake, Ellen you want some?”   
“No sweetheart you guys eat that, I’ll stop in as much as I can to help out so just save me a piece.” She wiped up the milk, left the room.  
………………………..  
Ellen and Bobby sat at the kitchen table and she swirled her coffee around in the cup and sighed. “Bobby my damn heart is broken for that kid, I hope he talks to me about it sometime.”  
Bobby shook his head, “Knowing Dean he wont, he tries to be tough.”   
Bobby pulled out his flask and put a shot each in their cups, “Ellen, back there at the motel I thought he was going to stab John. I wouldn’t blame him at all but I don’t want him to be dark and angry inside the rest of his life from this, I don’t know what the hell John did but it couldn’t have been good and I’m talking about more than the beating. Dean looked up to him and no matter what that guy did he would eventually forgive his dad, now the kid has nothing left to love about John.”  
Ellen smiled to herself, “He has another hero he looks up to besides you.”   
Bobby chuckled, “Oh Lou the military guy, the Zippo and Buck knife…Dean loves to tell stories about Lou, Lois and Amy. I don’t know Lois but God bless her heart, she save a couple little boys and gave Dean something to hang on to, he needs to know the world isn’t full of jerks.”  
…………  
Upstairs Dean had lit the candle with his beloved Zippo and sang happy birthday to Sam, Sam blew it out with only a little spit landing on the cake. Dean put his arm around his brother and hugged him gently, “Ok Sammy make a wish.”  
Sam kissed Dean on the cheek and whispered, “I got it already…my brother is home.”  
TBC


	7. Jagged Glass and Rock Stars

After the incident Sam doted on his brother during his recovery, for only four, Sam did a remarkable job.   
Weeks later when Dean was feeling better Ellen tried talking to him again, she waited until Sam was busy then sat next to Dean on the couch, Dean was flipped through the channels in between reading a book on demons.   
She smiled at him and folded her hands in her lap, for some reason she felt nervous afraid of what he would tell her. “Dean, would you like to tell me anything? Look sweetie carrying it around will make it worse. Talking wont take it away but it might help to unload.”  
Dean turned to her, green eyes filled with painful thoughts and memories, he rested his head back on the couch and closed his eyes. “Ok…you wont like it Ellen.”  
Ellen grabbed his hand in hers, “Hey you tell me anything you feel comfortable with Dean, don’t worry about me at all.”  
Dean licked his lips and took a breath, then it all came tumbling out, an avalanche of black, suffocating filth and pain.   
He told her how John beat him when he was angry and drunk, how he neglected them and how Dean had to care for Sam, the school he missed, being lonely and frightened and how much he wished Mary was there.  
The crippling hunger and wanting for things he could never have, how hope died for him on a nightly basis when the kisses and touches started, hollow apologies and loving words that stung as bad as the blows and intimate violations of his body.   
He shared with Ellen the memories of walking to school by himself feeling cold because his dad couldn’t be bothered to buy him clothes he needed.  
Feeling less, being poor and all the burning eyes of the people on him staring at the shabbily dressed child and feeling sorry for him when all Dean wanted was help and not pity.  
Dean cried and he was talking quickly like his courage would leave if he stopped even a second for a breath and shove it down so deep that it could never be pried out of him every again. He remembered never going to a doctor because John was afraid they would see what he did to him and told Dean to be quiet or daddy would go to jail and the brothers would be separated because everyone wanted a cute baby but not a naughty boy.  
Ellen’s hands were clasped together shaking as he released the black bile inside him.  
He couldn’t stop himself, Dean balled up his fists and hit his thighs while he recounted Sam crying for formula or a fresh diaper and John never bought enough no matter how many times Dean reminded him. How Sam went without medical care for his earache until it got so painful the baby woke John up crying and he brought him in to the free clinic so Sam would stop and John could sleep.  
Dean remembered everything in such vivid detail that Ellen felt sick but continued to listen.   
Suddenly Dean changed gears and smiled recounting the times John let Dean sit next to him in the Impala and listen to music, how they sang together and how strong and handsome his dad was. The memories of Dean feeling safe when he was out in public with John, what a skilled hunter he was and how Dean was going to be as good as him someday.  
His eyes shined recounting the diner food shared with his father, the funny stories he told Dean and what a good man he was before Mary died. The little boy bragged about having his dad’s leather coat, his pistol and knife, he told her about having John’s wallet most nights Dean looked at his drivers license photo so he could remember his father.  
Dean ran upstairs and got the wallet, he showed her the faded photo of Mary smiling, holding Sam and her arm around Dean’s shoulder, it was the only one he had of his mother and he cherished it.  
Dean said he just knew his dad loved him but he was sick in the head and couldn’t help what he did to Dean. Dean said sometimes he was a bad boy and made John so mad that he was trying to teach him to good. John also told the little boy he could never be good like Sam.  
Finally Dean relaxed and talked about his baby Sammy, how he was Sam’s protector and he wouldn’t let anyone hurt him ever or he would kill them. Dean said if he lost his Sam he wouldn’t care anymore.   
It was all about Sam, everything his brother did made him smile, made him feel loved, important and needed. He ended it by telling Ellen they would always be together because blood was blood and it meant more than anything in the world.  
After he was done he put his head on Ellen’s lap, he cried quietly for almost half an hour until he was so tired he fell asleep. She sat still so as not to wake him and when Bobby came in with Sam, she looked at Bobby with haunted eyes.  
Ellen never forgot that day and from then on when life became hard or something was uncomfortable, one of little Dean Winchesters memories would rear its ugly head and she would thank God for minor problems and loving parents.  
……………………………………………………………………………………  
Ages 6/10  
Dean examined himself in the mirror before he left for school, in the last two years he had grown and put on a little muscle but he still had the sweet baby face that had only thinned out slightly giving a hint of the chiseled beauty to come.  
He put on his army jacket and hefted the backpack full of books over his shoulder. An active, six year old Sam came running in and hugged his brother around the waist, “Come on Dean the bus is going to be here, you look in the mirror too much, I told you you’re perfect so hurry up!”  
Bobby yelled up the stairs, “Get a move on, I’m not driving you in today, Dean are you looking in the mirror again…I know you are, hurry up dang it.”  
Sam tugged on Dean’s old jacket, “Wait, gimme a kiss goodbye.” Dean smiled down at him, “We get on the same bus Sam.” Sam gave him what Dean called the “Sam Look” it was something Sam did to make Dean do just about anything.   
First Sam would look up at him with huge hazel eyes, and then the closer was the big smile and those dimples that warmed Dean’s heart. “Please Dean…we can’t kiss goodbye in front of other kids.”   
Dean had his “Dean Look” as Sam called it that Sam loved. He would grin and his big, beautiful green eyes would crinkle just a little at the corners and then he would seal the deal with one raised eyebrow. “Ok Sammy you win.”  
Sam giggled because they did the same thing every morning and it never varied, Dean would kneel down and grab Sam’s fat little cheeks then kiss him with a big, exaggerated smack and they would laugh then give each other a hug.  
Another important ritual in their lives was Bobby yelling, “Last call, you boys are gonna give me stroke someday.” They didn’t think Bobby was aware he said the same thing every morning and the brothers thought it was hilarious.  
They always sat together and when they got to Sam’s grade school Sam would punch Dean in the shoulder and say, “Later jerk.” And Dean would tell him to stop being a little bitch.  
……………  
Sam and Dean got off the bus and had their usual race to the front door, Dean always let Sam win. “Wow Sammy you run like the wind, I can’t keep up with you.” Sam would do a victory dance.  
There was a note on the table from Bobby, he wouldn’t be home till late so they should go ahead and raid the fridge.  
Sam looked at Dean and started to jump around and clapping, “Sing, sing, sing Dean put on music!” When Bobby wasn’t there to make supper the brothers would crank the music and sing at the top of their lungs while they pulled every single thing out of the fridge and concoct food horrors that would make any respectable chef run away screaming.  
Dean ran over to the stereo and put on a favorite, “No Matter What” by Bad Finger blasted so loud the glassware rattled in the cupboards and the old windows shook.  
Dean jumped on the coffee table and Sam handed him a wooden spoon from the kitchen, Dean started to sing to Sam.  
No matter what you are   
I will always be with you   
Doesn't matter what you do girl, oh girl with you  
No matter what you do   
I will always be around   
Won't you tell me what you found girl, oh girl won't you  
Knock down the old brick wall, and be a part of it all   
Nothing to say, nothing to see, nothing to do   
If you would give me all, as I would give it to you   
Nothing would be, nothing would be, nothing would be  
No matter where you go   
There will always be a place   
Sam sat on the floor and watched Dean move his body to the music and sing soulfully to him, Sam thought his brother had the most beautiful voice in the world. When Dean sang Sam was sure he was living with a rock star.  
Dean yelled, “Sammy air guitar!” Sam jumped up and started to play, Dean grabbed Sam’s hand and pulled him on the coffee table, “Come on Sam you know the words.” Sam wasn’t a brave singer like his brother, unsure of how good his voice was but he gave it his all singing along with Dean to an imaginary audience.

Can't you see in my face girl, oh girl don't you  
Knock down the old grey wall, and be a part of it all   
Nothing to say, nothing to see, nothing to do   
If you would give me all, as I would give it to you   
Nothing would be, nothing would be, nothing would be   
No matter what you are   
I will always be with you   
Doesn't matter what you do girl, oh girl want you   
Oh girl, you girl, want you   
Oh girl, you girl, want you  
When the song ended Sam clapped his hands over his mouth and started laughing, he couldn’t believe he got to do the coffee table singing with Dean. Dean lifted him up but lost his balance and they fell back on the couch both screaming.  
When they landed Dean opened his eyes wide, “Sammy you ok?” Sam lifted his arms in the air and shouted “We are rock stars Dean!”   
They locked eyes and the brothers started to giggle uncontrollably, Sam kissed Dean, “I love you so much, you are the best brother ever.”  
Dean hugged his little brother and spoke in an ominous voice, “Want to make some terrible food the likes of which have never been seen?” Dean pulled back looking at Sam with an exaggerated smile . Sam jumped off his lap and Dean followed. The rest of it could only be described as a disaster of epic proportions.   
…………….  
Bobby came home tired out from a hunt and when he stepped in the kitchen and turned on the light he dropped his gear bag, “Holy hell…it looks like Sweeney Todd’s basement in here!”  
The brothers attempted to make a devils food cake for Bobby as a surprise but two bottles of red food coloring later the kitchen looked like a blood bath, little red hand prints on the counters and drawers followed by ones a little bigger.   
What was sitting on the counter with no frosting was a cake Bobby later described to Ellen as a maroon, lopsided nightmare that actually tasted better than it looked.  
He sighed and shut off the light deciding to deal with it later, Bobby walked into the living room and saw everything off the coffee table and two little boys sleeping on the couch together covered in baking ingredients, food coloring and for some reason Dean was holding a wooden spoon.  
Bobby kneeled by the couch and gently shook them both, Sam opened his eyes, “Uncle Bobby we baked you a devils food cake..its your favorite.”   
Bobby looked at Sam’s sticky red fingers, “I figured Sam, I caught you both…red handed.” Bobby chuckled at his clever word play, Dean opened one eye and groaned, “That was a terrible joke.”  
Bobby got up and pointed at them both, “Well tomorrow when you both are scrubbing everything down Dean you will have plenty of time to think of a funnier one. Goodnight boys, love you both.”  
Dean smiled, “Red handed..good one.”  
TBC  
( Disclaimer, I don’t own the song in this story, I just really like it)


	8. Cheerleaders Suck

(While Sam Winchester does indeed think cheerleaders suck, this in no way reflects the author’s opinions on cheerleaders. The author does indeed think cheerleaders are an important and sexy part of sports culture. Sam Winchester made a fully informed decision when picking a title of this chapter;0) 

Ages 9/13  
Bobby swung by the school and picked up Sam then went to pick up Dean, they were a little early and Sam waited impatiently hanging out the truck window searching for his brother in the throng of kids flooding through the doors.  
He spotted Dean walking out with a pretty cheerleader about his age, they stopped and Sam could tell she was smiling about something Dean whispered to her. Sam sat back in the truck cab looking dejected with his arms crossed.  
Bobby watched Dean work his magic, the blonde leaned back against the wall and Dean braced his arms on either side of her, they were nose to nose and he stole a kiss. The girl was giggling and ducked under his arm and waved goodbye.  
Dean watched her walk away and smiled to himself then wave to Bobby and jogged over to the truck, he hopped in next to Sam and buckled up. Sam wouldn’t look at his brother and pretended he was asleep.  
Dean knew he was faking and whispered in his ear, “Saaaammmy…I know you’re not asleep because I spotted you hanging out the window…faker.”  
Sam opened one eye and looked at him, “So what, you were busy with that girl so I got nothing better to do than sleep…jerk. Besides cheerleaders suck.” Dean frowned, “Hey what’s up your ass?”  
Bobby pointed at Dean, “Language son you’re only thirteen, another thing what’s with smooching a girl at your age?” Dean laughed, “What’s the right age Bobby? Besides I’ve kissed worse.”  
Bobby gave him the stink eye, “Hey well since you and your mouth are so smart and you know it all then you’ll have plenty of time to clean your room when you get back.” Dean glared at Sam, “Thanks for getting me in trouble you baby.”  
Sam opened his eyes and looked up at Dean, his voice sounded younger than usual, “Dee don’t be mad at me, I’m sorry.” Dean looked out the window but could see Sam’s reflection in the glass. He knew Sam was desperate because he brought out his old baby name for Dean.  
He still didn’t look at Sam because he felt stupid for snapping at him. Dean slid his hand in Sam’s and squeezed it then rubbed his little brother’s palm with his thumb.  
Sam could tell his brother was smiling and his little body relaxed from the touch. Bobby glanced over and noticed they were holding hands, he smiled to himself.  
…………….  
Sam helped Dean clean the bedroom then they sat and did homework together. Bobby called them for supper and afterward the two went outside, Sam sat on the hood of the Impala and Dean sat on the ground between his feet. Sam kicked off his flip flops and rubbed his feet on Dean’s head.  
Dean grabbed his feet and tickled the bottoms until Sam couldn’t stand it and begged him to stop. “Are you going to be good or stick your dirty feet in my hair again?”  
Sam thought about it, “Sure but you gotta wash my feet when we take our bath.” Sam slid off the car and knocked his brother over then sat on top of him, “Now you can’t get away.”  
Dean put his arms under his head and looked up at the stars, the peepers were loud that night but Dean found it relaxing, he reached up and pinched Sam’s nose, “What makes you think I want to get away you little dork.”  
Sam fingered the fabric on his brother’s t shirt and looked down, “I don’t know… I saw you kiss that girl. Your gonna get married and leave me.”  
Dean burst out laughing, “Christ Sammy, what made you think that? That’s exactly what she is, a girl. She could be anyone I don’t care, besides, you and me we are a team you got it? I’m not going anywhere, you’re the smarty pants, I bet you go off to college someday and leave me…then who is gonna be sad?” Dean hitched his thumb toward his chest, “This guy that’s who.”  
Sam got off and his voice sounded sad, “Then why did you kiss her, it looked weird.” Dean got up and took his hand, they started back toward the house, “I kissed her just because I could, it didn’t mean anything. What do you care anyway? Someday some pretty thing will steal your heart.”  
Sam stopped and looked up at him, “No Dean…no way, I wont leave you ever and I think you are pretty, maybe you can steal my heart?”   
Dean sighed, “You say that now…come on Sam lets take our bath and go to bed.”  
……………  
They sat in the tub together, Sam was shampooing Dean’s hair. “See Dean I’m washing my foot dirt out of your hair, you are such a baby.”   
Dean grabbed Sam’s foot and smelled it, “Gross they still stink, did you change your socks in the last year?” Sam giggled, “Yes I did, my feet smell better than yours.” Sam rubbed his foot on Dean’s cheek then rinsed his hair and sat in front of him, “Ok my turn.”  
Dean lathered up his brother’s thick head of shaggy hair, “This isn’t fair, you got all this hair and it takes forever. Why don’t we buzz it like mine?” Sam turned around and gave his brother a pissed off look, Dean held up his hands, “Hey I’m just sayin’. Don’t worry Sam I think you have awesome hair, don’t cut it ever, its beautiful.”  
…………..  
The brothers were laying in bed, Sam was curled up next to his brother like always, “Dean….Dean..are you sleeping?” Sam shook his shoulder, Dean opened his eyes, “What is it baby boy, I was asleep.”  
“I can’t sleep Dean.”  
“You woke me up to tell me you can’t sleep.”  
“Yeah, tell me a story, I like your voice.”  
Dean sighed, “Ok…lets see..once upon a time there were two brothers, the eldest was handsome, strong and brave…he…he had an awesome car he wasn’t allowed to drive yet but as soon as he could he was gonna be a badass hunter.”  
Sam laid his head on Dean’s chest and looked at him, “What about the little brother, is he the sidekick…does he get to ride in the awesome car?”  
“The little brother was super smart and adorable and yes he is the sidekick and he gets to ride in the awesome car but he can never drive it. His big brother loves him more than anything in the entire world but there was something else about the little brother that no one else knew…a secret so dark that it was only revealed to his brother.”  
Sam let out a little squeal, “what….come on Dean what is it?”   
“That night while the eldest lay sleeping, exhausted for a day of being awesome as usual, the little adorable brother woke him up and revealed….”  
Sam sat up and started to bite his nail, “What, come on tell me!”  
Dean pushed Sam over to his side of the bed, “That he was a pain in the ass because he likes to wake people up when they’re sleeping to tell them he can’t sleep. When the eldest brother found this out he threatened to kick the little brothers ass if he did it again…the end…love you Sammy now go to sleep.”  
Sam folded his arms and stared at the ceiling, “Well that was a terrible story, next time I’ll ask you to sing instead.”  
“I said I love you Sammy goodnight, go to sleep.”  
“I love you too Dean, goodnight.”  
………………  
The next morning Dean asked Bobby if he could drop both of them off at their secret fishing place and pick them up before supper, he agreed and the brothers made enough sandwiches to feed a small legion, they jammed them around the sodas in the cooler.  
Bobby told them to take a bucket for the fish, Dean pointed to the cooler, “When that’s empty we can use that.”  
“Dean there is no way you and Sam are going to eat a dozen sandwiches, besides I don’t want fish crap in my cooler I use for beer. Did you guys bring your swim suits?”  
Sam hit Dean on the butt, “No we just go naked.”  
TBC


	9. Skinny Dipping

Ages 9/13  
Bobby dropped them off at the secluded fishing spot and there wasn’t another soul around, he handed Dean his cell phone, “If you need me call the landline, I’ll be home all day. Try not to drown, watch Sam because that kid is a handful.”  
Sam dumped his gear and gave Bobby a stern look, “Hey, I’m standing right here, you should be telling me to watch Dean instead.”   
Dean had already lost interest in what Bobby was saying and was working his way along a branch of a tree over the pond, “Hey Bobby If I drop from here I don’t think I’ll hit any rocks.”  
Bobby pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed, “Ok Sam, try not to let your brother drown and watch Dean because that kid is a handful.” Sam nodded and grabbed the cell phone Dean carelessly dropped on a towel. “That’s better, put me in charge.”  
Bobby messed up his hair and smiled at the tough little kid, “Yes Sir boss, you keep that man in line.”  
“I sure will Bobby, he has to listen to me, I’m the brains and he’s the beauty.”  
…………..  
They sat as quietly as they could with their fishing poles for half an hour and then they both got bored. Dean set his pole down and got up, “Wanna go swimming before we eat Sammy?”  
Sam pretended he was sleeping but couldn’t hide the smile on his face, “Come on Sam get up.” Dean pushed him with his foot.  
Sam opened one eye, “I’m going to tell you a story now.” Sam waited until Dean sat back down, he closed his eye and started his tale.  
“Ok..once upon a time there were two brothers, the youngest one was smart, talented and pretty…” Dean stopped him, “Whoa..Sam you’re pretty?”   
Sam opened one eye again, “Who is telling this, you or me? Besides I wont go swimming if you don’t agree with me.” Dean threw up his arms, “Fine you win Sammy you are pretty….a pretty big pain in the butt.”  
Sam sat up and crawled on all fours to his brother then pushed him down and sat on him, he wiggled his fingers and Deans eyes shot open in mock terror, “No Sammy please…anything but that.”   
Sam began to tickle Dean who was actually very ticklish, Dean started to writhe around trying to get Sam off him but he had locked himself on with his pony legs and had Dean in a death grip. “Oh my god Sam….stop it I’m dying here, I’m gonna piss myself.” Sam pulled his hands up and looked down at Dean, “Say it…say I’m pretty…say I’m prettier than that stupid girl.”  
Dean tried to push Sam off but there was no budging him, his voice came out softly, “Ok…you win Sammy…you are pretty, prettier than that stupid girl.” Sam climbed off and resumed his position on his back with his eyes closed. Dean didn’t get up, he crossed his legs and put his jacket over him, he felt weird like his stomach was full of butterflies and he was sweaty.  
Sam picked up where he left off, “ok so the older brother was handsome, funny, and strong, one day a demon came and took the little brother away. He cried because he missed his big brother.”   
“The big brother searched for him everywhere until he found him trapped in a deep sleep at the edge of a pond. The demon had put him there trying to lure out the big brother.”  
“The big brother was too clever for that so he snuck up behind the demon who was hiding behind a tree and chopped his head off with a big machete, wack, there was blood everywhere.”  
Dean smiled, “I like this story, I like machetes.”  
“Ok so the demon head could still talk and he said, “The only way you can wake the pretty brother up is with a kiss.”  
Dean looked over at Sam and frowned, “Yeah on the cheek right?”  
“Nope, on the lips.”  
“Sam your being silly, lets just go swimming and have some fun alright?”  
Sam pretended he was sleeping again, “Come on Sammy stop it….please?”  
Sam opened up one eye, “You found me beautiful once…”  
Dean broke out in a smile, Sam was quoting a line from one of their favorite movies, “Army of Darkness” so Dean replied, “Honey you got reeeal ugly.” Sam closed his eye and waited, he was grinning.  
Dean bit his bottom lip and watched Sam but he didn’t move, Dean crawled over on all fours and looked down at his soft pink lips, “If I kiss you…even though its going to be fucking gross…will you stop it and go swimming or eat…geez Sam say something.”  
Sam stopped grinning and his tongue darted out quickly wetting his lips. “Yes I promise.” Dean closed his eyes and gave him a quick kiss, “there now get up.”  
“No, not a stupid kiss like you gave that girl, a real kiss…I’m asleep remember and only a real kiss can wake me up.”  
“No Sam that’s not what you said, you said just a kiss there was nothing specific.”  
Sam stopped answering, Dean sighed, “Fine.” He swallowed nervously because he hadn’t actually really kissed anyone that way before, he bragged but the only kisses he got were stolen ones. Dean was actually a bit shy. He leaned down and placed his lips in a soft lock with Sam’s and sucked his bottom lip just a moment and pulled back up.  
Sam opened his eyes and smiled, “That was totally worth it.”  
Dean scowled at him and got up wiping off his mouth. “That was gross…I’m glad Bobby didn’t see that or anyone else. What are you Sam, gay or something? I mean that’s fine and all but that was weird.”  
Sam got up and pulled all his clothes off and ran to the pond, “Come on loser, last one in gets the wet sandwiches at the bottom of the cooler.”  
Dean had his back to Sam, “Yeah I gotta pee I’ll be right back.”  
Dean went behind a large tree and sat down, since he turned thirteen it seemed like everything gave him an erection and it was embarrassing, the kiss did that and he chalked it up to his hormones. “Come…you could kiss a friggin’ turtle and get a boner…..its hormones like they said in sex ed…just take care of it.”  
Dean quickly pulled his pants down and grabbed his cock, he jerked it hard and bit his lip so hard trying not to make a sound he tasted blood. He wasn’t thinking of Sam or anything else in particular just an orgasm as fast as his thirteen year old hands could make it. Dean bucked his hips up high in the air, forgot himself and cried out.   
Thick ropes of semen came out and covered his t shirt, it felt so good Dean wished he could have gone a second round but Sam was waiting.   
One of the kinks he developed when he first started masturbating was tasting his own come, sometimes when Dean had the privacy, he savored it all on his fingers and licked up every drop. The slippery texture and the salty musk flavor was a massive turn on and most of the time it didn’t go to waste.  
He heard Sam calling for him and quickly undressed, his cock was flaccid for the time being so he wouldn’t be embarrassed.   
………………  
Sam watched his brother walk slowly into the pond treading carefully on the slippery rocks. He admired his brother’s body and hoped he looked that handsome at thirteen.  
Suddenly Dean disappeared under the water, Sam yelled out, “Dean..Dean..this is not funny…Dean come on..” When he didn’t resurface Sam tried not panic, he was just about to go under and look for him when his brother bobbed up out of the water and Sam screamed.  
Dean broke out laughing, “Holy shit you scream like a girl Sammy…that is hilarious, I’m telling Bobby you scream like a girl Sam.”  
Sam turned and yelled at him, “You stupid jerk I thought you drowned.” He was breathing heavily from the scare and the cold water, Sam started to shiver and the stress of the situation made him cry, “Now you tell Bobby I cry like a baby.” He started to swim back. Dean swam after him and caught up, “Hey I didn’t think you would freak out.” He grabbed Sam’s arm and pulled him back. Sam struggled, “Leave me alone, I want to go home.”   
Sam started to sob and Dean didn’t know what he did exactly to get him this upset, then Dean remembered the real kiss. He let Sam go and they got out of the water, Sam grabbed a towel and covered his body, feeling self conscious, he grabbed the phone and called Bobby, “Bobby come get us I don’t feel good.”  
Sam dropped the towel and put his back toward his brother quickly dressing. When Dean had all his clothes on except for the come stained shirt he went over and tried to hug his brother. “Sam is this about that kiss you wanted me to give you?” Hey it was joke anyway why be upset about it?”  
Sam quickly turned around, his face was angry, “Because everything to you is a big joke including me. You treat me like a stupid kid, well I’m not.” Dean softened his voice, “Come on baby boy, don’t be like this, I don’t think you’re a stupid kid.”  
Sam got face to face with his brother, “And another thing, that wasn’t even a real kiss so shut up. Gross you’re my brother…you can’t take a joke can you?”  
Deans mouth was open but nothing came out, he watched Sam angrily packing everything up and dared to step up to him, “So yeah it was a joke we know that, just us messing with each other as usual so forget it.”  
Sam sat and waited for Bobby, when he pulled in Sam tossed all the gear in the back and got in, Dean slid in next to him and shut the door.  
Bobby tipped his hat back and looked at both of them, “So no fish I take it?” Neither of them said anything and Bobby left it at that.  
TBC


	10. Big Thick Black Leather Belt

Ages 10/14  
Dean Winchester kicked down the door separating him from full blown puberty and made it his bitch.  
…………  
Last years “stupid” kiss was long forgotten as a joke and life went on as normal for the Winchester boys, teasing, practical jokes, hunting with Bobby on the weekends and for the usual prey. Bobby made sure both of them were well protected and they hunted in a pack, protection all around them but occasionally the brothers broke loose and went off on their own.  
Those were the times when the other hunters frantically searched for the young Winchesters, they often found Sam doing a salt and burn while Dean watched with pride or Dean butchering an unfortunate indescribably horrible thing covered in blood and working with amazing skill and strength as Sam looked on in admiration.  
Bobby knew it was just a matter of time before the boys didn’t need the extra protection for the things that went bump in the night. They had each others backs and in the end that all the boys really needed.  
…………………….  
They got done watching an old horror movie on TV with Bobby, Sam jumped up and held his hand out to his brother, “Come on bath time.”  
Bobby watched as Dean took his hand and got up, they went upstairs and he heard the water running. He knew they were too old to share a bath but he figured they would do what they wanted with or without Bobby’s consent so he turned a blind eye.   
Bobby Singer saw a lot of things he never said anything about, things the brothers didn’t even realize themselves. The hand holding, the nightly bathing, sharing the same bed and too many tiny kisses between brothers, sometimes Bobby would walk in and one of them would just be staring at the other looking confused and with longing.  
Bobby knew it as all brotherly love but someday the dam was going to break and he dreaded it, not because they were brothers but because they would bring their own special Winchester brand of chaos to the house.   
Something was brewing between them, building slowly on a delicate foundation of innocence that would crumble under the weight of their anger, jealously, denial, lust, unrequited love by one or the other at various times and pain, lots and lots of pain. Bobby hoped in the end it would be a deep, unbreakable love between them.  
If it had been anyone else’s kids he would have found the situation uncomfortable and do everything he could to stop it but knowing everything they had been through, living the hunter life and being different from other kids, he knew the love that kept them together was that one and only special thing they had and he would die before he would allow anyone to destroy it.  
………..  
Sam stripped down in front of his brother and waited, Dean sat naked on the edge of the bed and looked at his brother, “Sam…don’t be mad but do you think we are too big to take a bath together?”  
Sam looked Dean over and tapped his finger to his chin, “No..no Dean I think your still gonna fit.” He laughed and ran into the bathroom, climbing in the hot, bubbly water and waited.  
Dean stood up and covered his erection with his hand trying to will it away but it was no use. He looked in the hallway to be sure Bobby wasn’t coming and peeked his head in the door of the bathroom. “Sam just wait I have to do something ok?”  
Sam raised an eyebrow and examined his expression, “What do you have to do?” Dean shut the bathroom door and yelled, “Look just give me a few minutes unless you want to take one by yourself, I can shower in the morning you know.”  
It was quiet for a moment and then Sam replied, “Fine take your stupid shower I’m going to relax.”  
Dean shut the bedroom door and got comfortable on the bed and then he took it out, he kept it tucked under the mattress on his side of the bed. It was Dean’s hidden shame he couldn’t do without.  
Dean smelled the leather permeated with the heady musk of his father’s sweat, it was John’s big, thick, black leather belt. The one he used over and over to beat Dean, then begged the boy for forgiveness, the one John stroked over Deans genitals until the little boy was hard.   
John delighted in the fact that Dean was not physically able to come yet but the pleasure was always there waiting for John’s warm mouth until Dean was so sensitive he begged him to stop and then came the massage.  
Dean couldn’t tell, he kept his arousal locked away, in his mind he knew it was dirty and so wrong, that his father sexually conditioned him to be his whipping boy, to be John’s dirty little secret.  
He didn’t tell Ellen that day, and he couldn’t tell Sam that since age four Dean was John Winchesters sex toy but Dean enjoyed what happened after the beatings and that belt was the precursor to the pleasure.  
Dean stroked it over his cock and pretended it was his father doing it like he had done to Dean so many times before. Dean groaned into the darkness, “Daddy…don’t hurt me again..I’m a whore but only for my daddy.” Dean squeezed his eyes shut and lightly slapped his balls with the belt holding his cock to the side.  
How many nights did Dean sleep on top of John and wake up to the sight of his handsome father looking up at him, the maddening way John parted his ass cheeks and tenderly rubbed the delicate skin around Dean’s little puckered entrance but never inserted his huge cock nor his fingers and now it was all that Dean could think about when he was horny.  
Dean’s face turned hot thinking back to John’s tongue probing his asshole always teasing, his large scarred hands constantly rubbing, kneading, trying to jack Dean off. Every brutal, degrading thing John could do to the boy’s body was done short of penetration.  
John didn’t fuck Dean, he didn’t make Dean suck his cock instead he used the boy as an aphrodisiac.  
Dean thought back to his tenth birthday and the strange sadness he felt, that was the birthday John promised Dean he would take his virginity, so many nights he described in detail how he was going to fuck his beautiful little boy.  
John would say, “It will hurt a lot, you’re going to bleed like a woman Dean, daddies dick is too big but once you get used to it I’ll do it to you all the time and you can be my sweet baby girl.” Then he would make Dean sit on top of his dick and rubbed himself against John with his little cock until his father spurted over Dean’s belly. Dean never got to be John’s sweet baby girl.  
……………  
Sam waited hoping Dean would change his mind but when he didn’t come back Sam quickly shampooed and rinsed off , he wrapped his waist with a towel and padded quietly back to their bedroom. Sam opened the door and closed it gently afraid Dean was asleep and then he heard it.  
There was a sound of snapping, a groan came from the bed and he heard his brother talking to their father, “It hurts daddy I’m sorry…if I’m good will you put your finger in me please…god please…do it.”  
Sam heard frantic wet sounds and the shadow of his brother bucking his hips in the air then he fell back and started to sob.   
Sam turned on the little lamp by the door and it lit the room enough for him to see his brother with a belt between his legs and the shimmer of come on the black leather. He quickly went over and turned on a bigger lamp, Dean looked at his brother, his eyes were glassy.  
Sam reached out and gingerly worked the belt from Dean’s hand and examined it, Dean who’s belt is this?” He examined the buckle and there were very old blood stains on it, the cervices were thick with it.   
He grabbed Dean’s face, “Dean look at me, is this dad’s belt?” Dean could only nod, “You kept it…why?” He looked at Dean’s crotch, his cock was flaccid now but his genitals looked sore and inflamed like he had been striking himself with the belt.  
Sam was confused, this was so much for him to comprehend at his tender age of only ten. The only thing he knew how to do was comfort his brother so he tossed the belt on the floor, covered his brother up and got in next to him.  
“Dean look at me its Sammy,” Dean’s eyes cleared and the crying stopped. “Sammy I’m so sorry, there is something wrong with me. You don’t need to know or see this. I wont do it again don’t hate me please.”  
Sam just held him and listened to him talk for what seemed like hours, Dean purged the horrors to the one person that could understand. His savior, his Sam.  
TBC


	11. You Ain't Seen Nothin' Yet

When Dean woke up Sam was holding him and sleeping, he moved his arm carefully and got out of bed looking for the belt but it was gone. Sam opened his eyes and watched his brother search the room, Dean was starting to get angry and looked over at his brother. Sam closed his eyes but it was too late, Dean saw he was awake, his brother balled up his fists as if he felt like striking Sam, “Where is it Sam…give it to me.”  
Sam pulled the comforter around him tightly waiting to the storm that was coming, “No, you can’t have it anymore. I put it somewhere safe, Dean you told me the most awful things for what seemed like hours, I don’t even know what most of it meant. I’m a kid, I shouldn’t even know that about my dad, you shouldn’t either. Dean my heart hurts from it. I can’t let you, its not right.”  
Dean shook with a sudden rage, he picked up a lamp and smashed it against the wall, “Fine, Sam if you breathe a word of what I said to anyone I swear I’ll…”  
Sam covered his head with the comforter and his voice came out muffled, “What Dean, are you going to beat me up? What makes you think I would tell anyone about stuff I can’t even describe, I wont betray you ok…promise. I love you don’t be mad Dee.”  
Dean quickly dressed and grabbed a doughnut on his way out to meet the bus, Bobby yelled after him but Dean jogged to the end of the driveway.  
Sam ran down the stairs and grabbed his backpack, Bobby grabbed the strap and stopped him, “Whoa where’s fire, what’s up with Dean?” Sam grabbed a doughnut, “Nothing, gotta go,” Sam dashed out the door.   
Bobby watched Sam run to the end of the driveway and try to touch his brother, Dean shoved him and Sam kicked him hard.  
Bobby sat back down and poured a shot in his coffee, “Well here it comes sooner than I thought…storm Winchester…time to batten down the hatches.”  
Bobby looked at the coffee and dumped it out, opting for whisky straight from the flask.  
……………….  
Bobby waited for Dean to get out of school, Sam sat by him quietly. “So Sam, is everything ok? You and Dean had a fight I assume, want to talk about it?”  
Sam was pulling a thread on his shirt watching the seam come out and didn’t answer. Bobby noticed he didn’t bother to even look for his brother to come out like he usually did.  
Dean burst through the doors with more swagger than usual, he had a girl on each arm and one of them was a girl that looked much too old for him. One of them broke away and waved goodbye, the cheerleader he brought right up to the passenger door and pushed her against it then worked a wet kiss over her mouth, she pushed him back and was breathless.  
“Dean…geez your little brother is right there.”  
“Yeah that’s the point.”  
She looked confused and then smiled at him, “Saturday then, I can pick you up ok?” He nodded and slapped her ass as she walked away, the girl jumped and turned around, “You are bad to the bone Dean Winchester.”  
Sam watched the whole thing without giving his brother the satisfaction of turning his head.  
Bobby slapped the steering wheel, “What in the hell has gotten into you son? I don’t need you pressin’ some jailbait against my truck and acting like a jackass.”  
Dean shrugged, “So what, I’m going out with her Saturday. She’s picking me up.”  
Bobby gasped , “Holy hell Dean, how old is she?”  
“sixteen.”  
Bobby shut the truck back off, “Dean Winchester you are fourteen, no way, that girl wants one thing from you and I’m not having any babies at my house. Besides you’re grounded for being a jackass.”  
Sam gave his brother a smug smile and turned on the radio, “Have fun alone in purgatory Dean.”  
Dean folded his arms and snorted, “What could you possibly have going on?”   
Sam planted his feet on the dash board, a satisfied expression on his face, “I got a friend now, I’m sleeping over and we are gonna go to the graveyard by his house and scare each other, see who the bigger baby is and its not me for sure. Then play some games and have supper and candy.”  
Dean gripped the straps on his backpack tightly, seething and turned to Sam, “Sounds like a full night, gonna take a bath with him before bed you fucking baby?”  
Sam hit him with a math book, “Maybe if I hit you with this you’ll learn something…you and that stupid, ugly girl, I’m surprised you both don’t have detention on Saturday.”  
Dean’s jaw tightened, his eyes were hard and Sam knew it was on, they started to punch each other and Bobby shoved Dean off Sam who was sporting a bloody nose, “Stop it both of you, honestly you act like you hate each other half the time.”  
Bobby started the truck again and had the quietest drive of his life.  
………………….  
After supper Sam cleared the table and looked at Bobby ignoring his brother, “I’m going to do homework now.” He ran up the stairs and slammed the bedroom door.  
Dean followed him up and touched the closed door, Sam had put on music and was singing “You Ain’t Seen Nothin’ Yet” by BTO at the top of his lungs and Dean heard him dancing around the room. He listened to the off key singing, he quietly pushed open the door and watched him.  
The music was so loud he didn’t hear his brother come in, Sam was standing on the bed wiggling his hips and playing air guitar.  
“I met a devil woman, she took my heart away  
She said I had it comin' to me, but I wanted it that way  
I think that any love is good lovin'  
And so I took what I could get, mmm  
Oooh, oooh, she looked at me with big green eyes….”  
Dean noticed Sam replaced “brown eyes” with “green eyes” in the song and he broke out in a smile. Sam jumped in the air and landed on his knees bouncing then spotted Dean and turned off the music. He was embarrassed and quickly grabbed his school books. “What do you want?”  
Dean looked at the floor and shrugged, “I don’t know, wanna take a bath?”   
Sam looked down at his book, “No I have a test tomorrow, I can take a shower Dean, you were right we are too big to take bathes together.”  
Dean swallowed hard and felt his heart break as he started to lose his brother, his strength, Dean’s everything. He stripped down quickly and walked toward the door, “That’s fine Sam.” He shut it quietly and Sam looked up with tears in his eyes.  
……………….  
Dean sat in the tub of hot water with a wet washcloth over his eyes trying to forget everything and relax but all he could focus on was the fight with his brother. He dozed off and his body went limp.  
………..  
Dean woke up to the sound of water running he pulled the wash cloth off his face and there was Sam putting more hot water in the tub, he looked at Dean with apprehension on his face. Sam stepped in the tub and looked at him, “Do you think I can still fit Dee?”  
Dean held out his arms and Sam sat on his lap, he felt his brother’s arms encompass him and he rested his head on Dean’s shoulder closing his eyes. They didn’t say anything but then the brothers didn’t need to, the words were there but unspoken.  
They were sorry, done fighting and each glad to have their brother back.  
……………  
Saturday came and Sam ran down the stairs with his backpack ready for the sleepover at his new friend’s house. Dean sat on the couch with his arms folded, a petulant look on his face and his eyes darting around watching Sam looking too happy for his taste.  
“Bobby can I go with you when you drop Sammy off?”  
“No you’re grounded.”  
“Please…I want to know where this kid lives in case Sam gets raped and murdered.”  
Bobby threw down the magazine he was reading and looked at Dean, “You have got to be the most morose kid on the planet…raped and murdered? Come on don’t say that to him, Sam has enough trouble making friends. They don’t want to hang around with a brainiac, try to be happy for him.”  
Dean tracked his brother zipping around the kitchen making a sandwich to eat before he left. “What does he need a friend for? I’m the only friend he needs, is that kid going to save his skinny, little ass when a ghoul decides to strip his skin off…I don’t think so.”  
Bobby got up and wiped his face with his hands then looked to the ceiling, “Lord give me the strength.” He waved at Dean to get up, “Fine but then we come right back and you study.”   
Bobby watched Sam happily eating his sandwich at the table kicking the leg and bobbing his head to music only he could hear.  
Bobby could see the jealousy on Deans face, “Dean going back to that thing about being the only friend he needs…well you are one to judge, you got tons of girls hangin’ off you and guys looking up to you at fourteen years old. I’m giving you fair warning, don’t do anything stupid to ruin this for him.  
Dean nodded and smiled, Bobby saw the wheels turning in Deans head, “Sure no problem Bobby…wouldn’t think of it.”  
But Dean did think of it and what to do about a little problem called Sam and his new friend.  
TBC


	12. A Gush Of Scarlett

Bobby pulled in to the driveway of Kelly’s house, Bobby was going to walk him up to the door but Dean insisted on doing it.  
Sam jumped out of the truck and ran to the door ringing the doorbell and jumping in place, Dean walked up behind him and stood there waiting. A boy Sam’s age opened it and his face lit up, “Sammy, I’m so glad you’re here!” the boy was cute, as cute as Sam with big blue eyes and sandy blonde hair,  
Dean leaned in to see what his brother saw in the boy and across his nose and cheeks there was a delicate smattering of pale freckles, “Sweet Jesus this little shit is cute…just too fucking cute aren’t you…”  
The little boy nervously shifted from foot to foot as Dean scrutinized him from head to toe, Sam punched his brother in the arm, “Stop it Dean, Kelly this is my brother Dean…the jerk.”  
Dean straightened up and smiled, it reminded Kelly of a shark he saw on the nature channel and he felt like a baby seal, “Hello, nice to meet you Dean.” He stuck out his little hand and Dean took it and squeezed then let it go. “Kelly…isn’t that a girl name?” Kelly was so scared he stammered when he spoke, “It…it’s a ..its both.”  
Dean felt a hand on his collar and a tug, it was Bobby, “Dean let the boy be and get your ass back in that truck or would you like to try for two weekends grounded in a row?”  
Dean put up his hands like a cop had a gun to his back, “Fine, have a good time Sammy…by the way Kelly I’m the only one that calls him Sammy.” Bobby cuffed him on the back of the head lightly, “Go…I swear you are this close to painting my garage for punishment.”  
………  
Kelly and Sam ran up to his room and slammed the door, the little boy fished out a bag of candy bars he had hidden and tossed one to Sam “Don’t tell my mom.” Sam hopped on the bed and hung himself over the side looking at his friend upside down, his long shaggy hair fell out of his eyes and Kelly noticed they were hazel.  
“I never see your eyes Sammy…Sam..their nice, you should comb your bangs over for school.” Kelly’s mother called them down for supper and Sam was happy to see pizza was on the menu without mushrooms. They chatted with his mother and she thought Sam was adorable, “Sam I am so glad you and Kelly are friends, seems you both have a lot in common.” Kelly smiled at his mother, happy for her approval. He was shy and very intelligent, what Dean would call, “bully bait”.  
…………  
Dean was in their bedroom pouting on the chair by the window, he wondered what his brother was doing and then wondered why he cared so much. Dean wasn’t even going to take a bath, instead he started to listen to hair band ballads.  
Dean fell back on the bed and saw Sam’s denim jacket on his pillow, he forgot it and Dean picked it up wondering if he needed it, “Here I Go Again” by Whitesnake started to play.   
Dean sang along and when it ended he realized he was clutching Sam’s jacket, he looked in the pockets and found a baggie full of sour gummy worms and a bandanna Dean gave him because he got sweaty when they were out shooting with Bobby. Dean put it over his face and he could smell the scent of his brother, he stuffed it back in with the worms and then found Sam’s wallet.  
Dean opened it and it contained four dollars and a quarter, both movie stubs from the last one the brothers saw together and a picture of Dean. He eyes teared up suddenly and he got up, put on his coat and checked to be sure Bobby was sleeping, he took the Impala keys.  
……………  
Sam and Kelly played hide and seek in the dark amongst the headstones of the old cemetery by Kelly’s house. Kelly vanished and Sam tried to spot some movement but saw none. Finally he spotted his friend behind a crypt and circled around, no one could hide for Sam Winchester.  
Kelly was breathing quickly at the excitement of potentially being caught but didn’t see Sam anywhere, suddenly he was shoved on the ground and Sam was sitting on top on him pinning his arms down. Sam grinned at Kelly, “If you were hunting with me you would have been dead a thousand times over.”  
Kelly looked up at Sam and his pretty hazel eyes reflected the moonlight, Sam’s friend thought his heart was going to burst looking at his pretty face. Kelly wouldn’t admit it to anyone but he had a crush on Sam Winchester.  
Sam latched his long legs on his friends sides and held his wrists, “Come on aren’t you going to try to get away at least?”   
“No.”  
Sam really didn’t know what to do next.  
………………  
Dean hit the steering wheel and laughed out loud, he was the king driving his car for the very first time. Dean had lots of driving experience other kids his age didn’t have but a hunter had to know his way around a vehicle and age didn’t matter like in the normal world, that’s what John always told him.  
Dean popped in a tape and “Life InThe Fast Lane” by the Eagles started to play, Dean let out a whoop, cranked it and sang. He was young, free, full of love and the world was all his.   
“Glowin’ and burnin’ blinded by thirst,  
They didn’t see the stop sign, took a turn for the worst…”

Dean felt like he had a real friend in the Impala, if Dean could admit it he would confess to loving her almost like a lover. He thought she was beautiful, powerful and sexy, Bobby didn’t let him drive her but it didn’t stop him from polishing and caring for her tenderly.  
He found his way there easily, John and Bobby taught the boys how remember their surrounds and retrace their steps accurately, he parked a few blocks from the house and hiked over sitting between some trees in the back and held Sam’s coat. He wondered if they were in the cemetery and then he heard voices and he recognized Sam’s.  
Dean’s heart pounded in his chest from excitement trying to decide what to do next, scare them or just give Sam his jacket to see his face. He got up and crouched down moving behind the headstones, that was when he saw Sam sitting on top of the boy pinning his wrists down.   
Dean wiped his eyes and fingered the bottle of whisky in his pocket he stole from Bobby.  
………………..  
Kelly smiled at Sam, “Truth or dare Sam…ok?” Sam kept his friend pinned down and looked at his face thinking how sweet he was. “Ok go ahead.”  
“Sam what is your deepest, darkest secret?”  
Sam couldn’t tell me his deepest darkest secret because he couldn’t admit it to himself, “Dare.”  
“I Dare you to give me a romantic kiss like in the movies.”  
…………..  
Dean sat with his head resting on the headstone watching them, he raised the bottle to his lips and drank until his head felt weird. Dean had never had hard liquor and only got to sneak sips of John or Bobby’s beers when they weren’t looking.  
He felt he could easily cry now and felt the loneliness sitting out there with the dead, watching his beloved brother with the cute little boy.  
…………….  
Sam sat there and thought about it and then remembered Dean kissing that cheerleader and giving him a bloody nose, “Ok I’ll do it.” Sam laid down on top of Kelly like a lover and the boy opened his legs so Sam could rest on him easier, they pressed their crotches together, Sam bent down and tried to give him the best romantic kiss he could .  
It was a poorly executed kiss, wet and sloppy and at one point Kelly tried to push his tongue in Sam’s mouth but hit teeth because Sam didn’t know how to French kiss. Sam pulled away and there was a smacking sound as they separated.   
Dean watched and cried quietly, he didn’t know why he was crying but it made his heart ache to watch what he viewed as his baby brother stabbing him in the back.  
Dean got up, slipped the bottle in his pocket and staggered back across the yard, he dropped Sam’s jacket right by the front door of Kelly’s house and walked back to the Impala, he opened the door and before he got in Dean vomited hard until there wasn’t anything left.  
He locked all the doors and crawled up in a ball on the back seat, he started to cry again talking out loud to himself, “Fuck you Sam…you think you’re so great kissing your queer little buddy well who needs you….I don’t need anyone.” Dean pulled out his Buck knife and opened it, he slowly pulled the blade across his arm and the skin opened with a gush of scarlet blood running over him, he cried out from the pain and dropped the knife. Dean cradled his arm and passed out.  
…………  
Sam could feel his dick stiffen but he didn’t know what to do with it and was embarrassed when he felt Kelly press up into his crotch also hard. Sam got up and held out his hand, “I think we should go back, lets watch TV or something ok?”  
They walked back to the house and when they got to the front door Kelly bent down and picked up the coat, “Who would leave a jacket by my front door?” Sam grabbed it and recognized it as his, confirming that when he pulled out his wallet.  
He looked around frantically, “Dean…Dean are you out there somewhere? Kelly I got to call my uncle.”  
…………………  
Dean woke to a tapping on the window of the Impala, it was a cop and he was shining a light inside the car. Dean struggled up and unlocked the door, his other arm up against his body.  
The cop yelled “Open the door”, Dean slowly opened it and fell out on the pavement hitting his head.   
Blood poured down his face and the cop immediately called for an ambulance then kneeled down next to Dean and rolled him on his back, “Kid…hey kid stay awake….what’s your name?” Dean didn’t answer.  
TBC

(Comments are welcome for this series please, I have it on another Fan site and wanted to put my SPN fics here also but comments are a writers encouragement to keep going. Tell me what you think.)


	13. Queer Sammy

Dean opened his eyes and looked around, everything was bright and there were people around him asking him questions, one was the police officer. “Son, you’re in the hospital, can you tell me your name?”  
“Dean…Dean Winchester.”  
“Ok Dean can you give me your parents phone number?”  
“Mom is dead, I don’t have a dad…call Uncle Bobby…where is Sam?”  
Dean’s head was pounding and he felt dizzy, a nurse took off his coat and Dean cried out, the copious amounts of blood had dried to the gash on his arm and she let go opting to cut the jacket off.   
The officer spoke slowly, “Son look at me…what is your uncles phone number?” Dean managed to remember that much and then asked for Sam again.  
…………………  
Bobby woke up and grabbed the phone, calls in the middle of the night were never a good thing, especially being a hunter and uncle to the Winchesters, his heart already sank and Bobby didn’t even know what had happened.  
The officer explained the situation, Bobby dressed quickly and headed for the hospital.   
…………..  
Bobby was at Dean’s bedside, “I’m not gonna yell at you Dean, what happened?”  
Dean started to cry, “Uncle Bobby where is Sam…I want Sammy.”  
“Don’t worry about Sam right now he is fine Dean.”  
The officer pulled Bobby aside and explain what he found, “Ok Mr. Singer, let me lay this out for you, the boy is fourteen, driving a stolen car, there was a empty bottle of whisky at the scene, he is covered in vomit and I found a bloody knife which explains what I can only imagine is a self inflicted wound. Mr. Singer was Dean trying to kill himself?”  
“Trust me officer, if Dean really wanted to kill himself he would have done it and it would have been a one shot deal, not a poorly done cut in the wrong spot.”  
The officer wasn’t sure how to respond since the statement was so odd.  
Bobby called Rufus to pick up Sam and bring him to the hospital to console his brother.  
…………..  
Dean had the gash on his head and arm closed up and a physical, he had vomited up most of the whisky.  
Sam ran down the hall watching the room numbers as he zipped by then found Dean, he went in and got on the bed with his brother and hugged him. “Dean I was so worried.” Sam was wearing his denim jacket.  
Dean fingered the fabric, “Oh good you found your coat.” Dean turned his head away from Sam.  
The officer was questioning Dean with Bobby by his side, “Why did you do this Dean, steal a car, drink and then cut yourself like that. I have to ask you, were you trying to kill yourself?”   
Dean wouldn’t look at anyone, “Ask Sam why I did it, have fun in the cemetery Sammy?” Hurt and shame crossed Sam’s face, he climbed off the bed and sat in the hall next Rufus.  
Rufus looked at Sam, “Hey, he is going to be fine Sam.” Sam looked up at him with tears in his eyes, “Its my fault..Dean knows it and I know it.”  
………….  
Sam tried to walk Dean into the house but he pulled away, Sam fell back and Bobby put his arm around his little shoulders, “Sam its not your fault your brother did a bunch of stupid crap, it was his choice.”  
Sam looked up at Bobby, “It is my fault, now he hates me.”  
……….  
Dean went to bed and by that time dawn was breaking, Sam undressed and got into bed with him. He put his arm over his brother’s waist and rested his head on Dean’s chest, “Dee…I’m sorry.”  
“For what Sam…say it.”  
Sam was quiet, Dean put his hand on the soft hair he stroked so many nights before, “Are you sorry for making out with that kid…I saw you with him…so what now Sammy… are you queer?”  
Dean felt Sam’s hot tears on his skin, “I didn’t make out with him, it was truth or dare and I took dare, besides you kiss lots of people. What do you care anyway Dean you always say I bug you and I’m a nerd, I don’t have any friends except Kelly. I get lonely because you are with your friends and you’re cool. Everyone likes you Dean, they don’t like me.”  
Dean made a sound that came out as what could best be described as a bitter laugh, “They don’t like me Sammy, they like what I look like. If any of them knew what I was inside…really knew me, they would run screaming and you know it. You Sam…you got all the brains and you’re a good looking kid. You baby boy are the entire package but no one sees it yet…they will someday and you will look at me and think what a loser I am.”  
Dean rolled away from Sam and cradled his arm, Sam grabbed a pillow and blanket then went downstairs to sleep on the couch.  
…………….  
When Sam woke up it was almost noon and he crept upstairs to the bedroom, Bobby was already gone and left them a note to stay home. Sam pulled off his boxers and got into bed with his brother, he pressed his body against Dean spooning with him.   
Dean was having a nightmare but as soon as Sam put his arm around his waist he calmed down and snored softly. Sam had been ashamed of the kiss he had with his friend and vowed to never do it again, from now on Sam was devoting himself to Dean and decided he didn’t need friends.  
……………..  
Dean woke up and felt Sam pressed against him, “Sammy is that you?” Sam hugged him tighter, “Yes Dean.”  
Dean rolled on his back and looked at his sweet, little baby Sammy staring at him with wide hazel eyes, lips pursed tightly and brows knitted in worry waiting for Dean to come down on him again like a hammer. He reached over and cupped Sam’s cheek, “Sorry I blamed you…I didn’t mean it.”  
“I’ll never do it again Dee I promise, I wont kiss anyone ever. I was stupid, you are my friend and I don’t need another one.”  
Sam climbed on top of Dean and fit his body between his brothers legs so their genitals were touching just like with Kelly only they were both unclothed. Dean didn’t react yet, Sam tried to give him the same kiss he gave Kelly but Dean shoved him off.  
“Stop it Sam, what the hell is wrong with you, I’m your brother , if you want to kiss some little twink in a graveyard go for it.”   
Dean got up and put his back to Sam, he slipped on a robe and went to the bath room shutting the door.   
Dean sat on the edge of the tub and took off his robe, he spit in his hand and started jerking himself hard thinking of the warm, little body pressing between his legs but Dean told himself it could have been anyone other than Sam, he tried thinking of Amanda the cheerleader at school but it didn’t work.   
Dean wanted to think of Sam so much it was painful, “What the fuck is wrong with you…it could have been anyone…remember everything makes you hard…”   
Dean pulled until it became painful and finally was able to orgasm shooting against the wall, he got to his knees and slowly licked the wall clean with his tongue, his punishment for thinking bad thoughts.  
When the evidence was gone Dean tried to push what he viewed as black thoughts flooding his brain but it couldn’t be done and he broke down sobbing.  
…………..  
Sam made supper that night, salad and chicken, not Dean’s favorite but he made a big deal out of it, “Wow Sammy I don’t usually like rabbit food but its really good, what did you put in it?”  
Sam shrugged and picked at his salad, “Rabbit food.”  
Bobby took a swig of beer and looked at Dean, “Ok what happened last night?”  
“I was pissed off..Sam needed his jacket..I don’t figgin’ know why I did any of it I just did.”  
Bobby held up the paper listing all the fines he had to pay, “Well this is your fault and you will work every weekend around here until its paid off got that? No socializing, no hunting, you keep this place clean and I want your personal key to the Impala or I’m going to boot her, that’s a promise.”  
“But that’s not fair…she’s mine!”  
Bobby nodded, “That’s right, when you are sixteen I can put you on the title and she is all yours but until then forget it.” Dean pulled the key out of his pocket and tossed it on the table. “This sucks.”  
Bobby put his hand up to his ear and cocked his head, “Excuse me what did you say Dean?”  
“Nothing…sorry.”  
Sam kept his head down picking at his salad then got up and dumped his plate, “Bobby I’m going to do homework.” He ran upstairs and slammed the bedroom door.  
“Dean what is going on between you two? Dean looked up at Bobby, “Nothing…there is absolutely nothing going on between us.”  
Dean got up and went outside vanishing into the darkness.  
Bobby knew with school letting out in a few days that it was going to be a long summer if the boys didn’t make up. “Damn fool kids…don’t they know they are all each other has got?”  
TBC

(Comment button is right there...)


	14. Predator

Ages 11/15  
Sweet summertime with nothing to do but hunt, fish and hang out. The brothers moved on in the way they usually did, Dean wouldn’t talk about it and Sam gave up.  
Dean worked off his debt to Bobby in record time organizing and cleaning the garage, painting it and hauling garbage. He did inventory and Sam entered it all on the computer for the salvage yard.  
Bobby had to admit Dean really put his heart into it and was proud of Sam for helping him.  
Dean’s head and arm healed nicely but his heart was another matter.  
…………….  
Dean fleshed out even more, lean, hard muscle tanned from the summer sunshine. He was in cut offs and no shirt pulling rims for Bobby.  
Sam had shot up some more but was still a skinny colt as Dean called him. He carefully walked over carrying two glasses of lemonade and handed one to Dean. Dean hopped up on a car hood to sit but jumped of quickly, “Holy shit that’s hot as hell!”  
He turned his back to Sam, “Am I burned, its wicked hot.” Sam swallowed and ran his eyes down his brothers body, the broad back and shoulders, tapering down into slim hips, a round ass and muscular legs.  
Every single inch sun kissed and gleaming with sweat, when Dean bent slightly and the shorts gaped at the waist there was a sliver of white where it hadn’t reached.  
“No…no Dean just kinda red.”  
“Well I feel like the back of my thighs are burning off , no blisters then?”  
“You want me to check?”  
Dean licked his lips and turned back, “Yeah…Sammy would you do that?”

Sam crouched down behind his brother and ran his hand over the back of his thighs, Dean leaned on the car, his leather gloves protecting his hands. He pushed his ass out a little farther and shivered.  
“I don’t see anything Dean, its just…red.” Sam closed his eyes and rested his face on Dean’s denim clad ass, when Dean didn’t move Sam dared to kiss the back of each thigh.   
Dean spun around and Sam was face to face with his crotch, there was a wet spot on the pale, worn materiel. Dean looked down at Sam, he was biting his bottom lip and the green eyes were heavy lidded like he was in a dream.  
Dean abruptly pulled away and grabbed the crowbar and started pulling rims. He kept his back to Sam and didn’t speak. Sam walked slowly back to the house waiting for a call to come back but it never came.  
He went up to the bedroom and sat on the edge of the bed lamenting on what a stupid fool he was, Sam had given up his only friend for Dean and now he was going to spend the summer alone.  
He grabbed the phone and dialed Kelly’s number, “Hey Kelly you want to come over and hang out? I’m really sorry I ignored you…you forgive me?”  
The boy on the other end replied quickly, “Yeah…yes of course, you want to come here or you want my mom to bring me there?”  
Sam looked out the window at his brother attacking a helpless rim , Sam smiled to himself, “Why don’t you come over here?”  
……….  
Dean wiped his brow and dropped the crowbar, a car pulled in and he slipped on his dirty white tank top and jogged over to see who it was. When Dean saw who it was he stopped in his tracks and watched Sam run out to greet his friend, he hugged Kelly and then stopped to talk to the boys mother before they went into the house.  
Dean went and sat in the garage, “Damn you Sam …don’t even ask me if he can come over…have your little twink friend whatever..”  
Dean suddenly felt a flash of anger, he threw an oilcan hitting the window and cracking it, “Oh shit…shit I’m so fucked.” Dean walked in a circle with his hands behind his head thinking of all the work he was going to have to do to pay for the window.  
Dean didn’t know why he was so angry, in his mind he rationalized it as Sam being sneaky and being a liar but hidden in his heart was the real reason that he could never admit to himself or Sam.  
……………….  
Sam and Kelly raided the fridge and Sam made them sandwiches, he went to find Dean and give him one. Finally he found him in the garage and Dean was sitting on a stack of old tires with his head down.  
Sam stepped in front of him and held out the plate and another glass of lemonade. Dean took the offering, “Thanks Sam…why is that kid here? I thought you weren’t hanging out together anymore?”  
Sam jumped up next to him and put his arm around Dean’s shoulders, “I just get bored. Your working and on the weekends your with friends, I gotta do something Dean.”  
Dean brightened up, “Hey Sammy I’m going to a bonfire this weekend, come with me, I promise I’ll hang out with you.”  
“Dean I’m eleven, who is going to want me there?”  
“I do, if they don’t like it they can fuck off…ok?”  
Sam hugged him, “Ok Dean thanks!” He ran back into the house and Sam couldn’t recall if his feet ever touched the ground.  
…………………  
Kelly was looking over the books Bobby had in his library, he was holding one in each hand, “The Hunters Guide to Commonly Used Sigils” and “Demons For Dummies”.   
“Sam what does your uncle do for a living…besides the salvage yard.” Sam took the books away and put them back, “Hey a guy has to have a hobby.”  
Kelly flopped on the couch, “So what should we do?” Sam sat next to him, “I don’t know…swimming? We can ride bikes there, I know a good spot Dean and I go.” Kelly frowned, “I didn’t bring trunks.”  
Sam grabbed his hand and smiled at him, “Its ok Dean and I skinny dip.”  
…………  
They got to the pond and jumped off the bikes, “See there is never anyone here Kelly I told you.”  
Sam stripped naked and jumped in the water, Kelly hesitated and then took his clothes off and carefully got in. The day was humid and the cold water felt wonderful, they swam around and then floated awhile.   
Sam watched his friend floating in the water with his eyes closed. When Sam got to kiss the back of Dean’s thighs he had gotten excited but hadn’t done a thing about it.   
Now his pretty friend was there for the taking but Sam couldn’t betray Dean, not after he offered to take him to the bonfire. Sam thought one kiss wouldn’t hurt and he wouldn’t get rejected and his feelings hurt.   
Sam swam over to Kelly, closed his eyes and kissed him. Kelly opened his eyes and hugged Sam. “Sam I really like you…I missed you. Do you like me?”  
Sam pulled away and laughed, “Of course I like you stupid, you’re my friend.”  
Kelly looked at him with hurt on his face, he swam back to the bank and climbed out. He sat under a tree and closed his eyes willing himself not to cry.  
Sam climbed out and grabbed the towels, he threw one to Kelly then wrapped his around his waist. “What’s wrong, I said I liked you.”  
Kelly lifted his head and looked Sam in the eye, “Sam Winchester you are the stupidest smart person I ever met.”   
Sam sat next to him and touched his arm, “Sorry I kissed you…are you mad about it?”  
“I don’t know what to think about you Sam, I wanted you to kiss me…maybe I should go home…should we go back?” Sam didn’t know what to say, he didn’t have the same feelings as his friend did, he thought Kelly was cute and sweet, smart and funny but he wasn’t the one person he wanted to get attention from.  
“Kelly I do like you, I think you are great but I have someone I like…kinda like how you like me. Can we be friends?”  
Kelly put his head back against the tree and closed his eyes, “Only if you kiss me again…please Sam?”  
Sam wanted to kiss the pretty, full lips again but he felt like he would be cheating. Sam Winchester was the most confused boy on the planet at that moment. He relented and kissed the boy, a tingle ran through his body and he pulled away and got up. “Lets go back and have a snack and watch a movie ok?”  
………….  
They got back and Dean was sitting on the couch waiting for them, “Where the hell have you both been?” Dean started to mock Sam, “Hi I’m Sam Winchester, I’m only eleven but I can take off and go where ever the fuck I want.”  
Kelly stood in the doorway, Dean Winchester made him nervous and he didn’t want to get on his bad side. Dean waved him in, “Well don’t just stand there kid come sit by me on the couch.”  
Dean didn’t bother to make eye contact with the boy, instead he smiled and kept his eyes on his brother. Kelly looked at Sam, “Maybe I should call my mom to come get me.”  
Sam glared at his brother, “You don’t have to leave because he is being a jerk…as usual.”   
Dean patted the couch and Kelly approached cautiously and sat down on the opposite end.   
Sam yelled from the kitchen, “I’m getting a soda, you guys want one?” Dean replied for both of them, “Yeah Sammy we are both gonna have one. While you’re in there make some popcorn ok?”  
Dean slid down the couch next to Kelly and smiled at him, “I think we got off on the wrong foot, any friend of Sam’s is a friend of mine.” Dean was doing what he does best, he put his arm around the back of the couch just touched the boys neck.  
Dean leaned in and whispered, “So twink, are you still kissing my brother…come on little boy you can confess to me.”  
TBC


	15. Baby Boy Roofies

Kelly could feel Dean’s hot breath on his face, he wasn’t sure how to answer.   
“I mean if you are kissing him you can tell me…what did you both do today kid?”  
“We went swimming.”  
“I’m sure that’s not all you did…what else?” Kelly pushed himself as far away as he could but couldn’t get up, Dean had his leg braced in front of Kelly’s.  
He closed his eyes and said it, “We kissed…twice…I’m sorry.”  
Dean moved away and sat calmly, “Well what’s a kiss between friends right?”  
Sam had walked in and noticed his friend in tears, “Sam I gotta go ok?” Kelly called his mother. That was the last time Kelly stepped foot in that house.  
…………..  
After supper Sam went outside and Dean followed him, the sun was setting but there was enough light to find their way to the garage and Sam entered first. “Why Dean?” You know what, forget it you don’t even know why.”  
Dean grabbed his little brother’s arm, “Sam I’m sorry, I just don’t want to see you get hurt is all. That kid…I mean he is not for you.”  
Dean spun him around and hugged Sam lifting his feet off the ground then put him down, “Look baby boy, tomorrow we go to the bonfire together and forget all about this.”  
Sam looked up at him and smiled, “Ok Dean, love you.”  
“Love you too Sammy.”  
……………..  
Dean was under house arrest until he fixed the garage window but that never stopped Dean Winchester from doing something he really wanted to do. Bobby left them to hunt that weekend and if the job ran longer, into next week.  
Sam was going through his closet, “Dean I don’t have anything cool to wear, I’m going to look like a kid.” Dean cracked him on the ass, “That’s because you are a kid Sammy. Besides, they are all gonna be looking at me anyway.”  
Sam rolled his eyes and pursed his lips, “Gee Dean can your ego get any bigger?”   
“Better wipe that look off your face baby boy or everyone is going to think you’re my bitch instead of my brother.”  
Dean fished a set of Impala keys out of his pocket and Sam’s eyes grew big, “Dean, how did you get keys?”  
Dean chuckled, “Didn’t you think I had a spare set made just in case Sammy? Geez you are going to be the lamest teenager ever if you don’t think ahead.”  
…………….  
Dean took all back roads until they spotted the field and the bonfire, he parked the Impala far away and they hiked in walking through the woods, Sam grabbed Dean’s hand out of nervousness and peeked around a tree. “Dean everyone is so much older than me…what do I do?”  
Dean squeezed his hand then let go and walked ahead, “Just follow me Sam, I’ll watch out for you.”  
As soon as Dean stepped out several girls came over and each vied for his attention, he smiled and put an arm around two of them. “Hey girls this is my brother Sam, I wanted to bring him along and have some fun.” The girls waved to Sam, one put her arm around his shoulder, “You are even cuter than your brother little guy, how old are you?”  
Sam crossed his arms and looked at her, “seventeen, I drank too much when I was your age and it stunted my growth.” Sam glanced at the bottle of beer she was holding and then walked away smiling.  
Dean was already gone, Sam looked around through the crowd of kids but couldn’t spot him anywhere. He sat at the edge of the woods in the dark watching them all and feeling lonely.  
A handsome boy came over about Dean’s age and sat next to Sam in the dark, he handed Sam an open beer. “Hey so you are Deans little bro right?” Sam looked at the beer, “I don’t drink sorry.”  
The boy pushed his shoulder, “Bullshit, your brother could drink a keg by himself, I can’t believe you don’t drink at all.”   
Sam shrugged and took a drink, it tasted bitter and he made a face, the boy put his arm around him, “Its an acquired taste little guy, finish it and by the time you get a second one in you your going to love it…promise.”  
Sam was angry being left alone and tipped the bottle drinking as much as he could then coughed, beer running down the sides of his mouth.   
The boy went and got him another bottle, it was already open, he sat back down and put his arm around Sam, “That brother of yours…he likes to take things that aren’t his you know? Right now I bet he is with Jenny making out…maybe fucking her. Hey anyway my name is Jake, you know I think you are even better good looking than your brother.”  
Sam drank but not fast enough for Jake, he tilted the bottle and held it in place. Sam started to choke and pushed it away, “Stop it, I don’t want anymore.” His head was spinning and his stomach felt warm. “I don’t feel very good…can you find my brother…please I want to go home.”  
Jake watched him, Sam’s eyes were half closed and his motor skills were poor, he tried to get up but fell down. Jake caught him in his arms, “Hey take it easy Sam, guess you’re not used to drinking. Show me where you’re parked and I’ll put you in the car and get your brother ok?”  
………………….  
Dean was making out with Jenny on the other side of the field, he fumbled with his zipper and pulled it down, “Give me a blow job.” Jenny stopped kissing him and pulled away, “What the heck Dean, could you ask a little nicer…maybe do something for me?”   
He ran his fingers through Jenny’s hair and then pulled her head over and laughed, “ Oh baby…I am doing something nice for you, I’m letting you suck my dick.” She let out a moan as his full, soft lips sucked her neck. “Ok…ok Dean I’ll do it.”  
Dean closed his eyes and let his mind wander to other things besides that girl, he pictured someone else with their lips on him and he started to fuck her mouth.  
…………..  
Jake carried Sam back to where the Impala was hidden and opened the back door, he pushed Sam back on the seat . “Yeah Sam. Dean is a real bastard…you know when I saw a photo of you I thought you were his sister…really fucking pretty. Lets teach old Dean a lesson why don’t we pretty girl…”  
Jake got on top of Sam, grabbed his face and worked his mouth over Sam’s slack lips, “Any hole will work right Sam?” He laughed when Sam didn’t respond, his eyes rolled back in his head and closed.  
………….  
Dean pushed her down and held it, she started to choke and dug her nails into his thighs as he emptied in her throat then pulled her off when he finished. Jenny slapped him, “You prick…what the hell was that?”   
Dean saw his come on her lips and pushed her down licking her face and shoving his tongue inside to taste himself until all he came back with was her saliva. “You want me to do something for you? Then will you shut your fucking mouth Jenny…fine.”  
He ran his hand under her skirt and into her panties, Dean started to finger her pussy and worked his thumb over her clit, she was making so much noise he was afraid someone would hear them. He whispered loudly, “Christ, keep it down, I don’t want the whole damn world to know.”  
…………….  
Jake lifted Sam under the shoulders, his head fell back and Jake ravaged his throat. He left his marks for Dean Winchester to see, the bastard that stole his girlfriend that night.  
Sam groaned in pain as the boy started to leave bite marks bruising him along Sam’s delicate collarbone. He tried to open his eyes but it felt like there were weights holding them down. “Dean…..is that you….” His voice trailed off and then he stopped making sound altogether.  
………….  
Dean clasped his other hand over her mouth as Jenny had her orgasm, she soaked Dean’s hand and her panties and her body having little aftershocks of pleasure after he took his hand away.   
Jenny rolled her head toward Dean and smiled, “That was so good Dean, you have magic fingers baby.” Dean wiped his hand off in the grass and got up. “Yeah thanks for everything but I got to find my brother.”  
……………  
Jake unzipped and pulled his cock out then pulled Sam’s jeans and boxers down, he smiled to himself, “That kid is packing a nice cock…I’m a little jealous.”  
……………..  
Dean looked everywhere for Sam, finally he found someone that could tell him something, “Yeah he was sitting over there with Jake, you brother looked pretty buzzed and then the next thing I know they vanished.”  
…………..  
Jake looked around as if everyone might see what he was doing and then tasted Sam’s flaccid cock. He rationalized it but telling himself he was drunk as hell, it looked nice and what could it hurt if no one knew.   
Next he rolled Sam on his stomach and pulled him open, his cock jumped when he saw how tight the boy was. Uncharted territory and so tender and pink that Jake thought he died and went to heaven at the sight in front of him. He laughed and spoke aloud to no one except himself, “Christ...this is going to be fucking hot.”   
……………..  
Dean ran as fast as he could to the Impala and threw himself on Jake bringing them both to the ground. Dean’s face was full of rage as he pummeled Sam’s attacker, each word was punctuated with a fist, “You fucking piece of shit, what did you give him,”   
Dean shook him until he answered, “a roofie…and a couple of beers…you fucker Winchester screwing around with my girlfriend..I hate you.” He swung at Dean and connected knocking him off , Dean got up and wiped his mouth, “I swear to god if you did anything to him I’ll cut your balls off.” Dean latched onto both hands and twisted Jakes fingers until it heard the bones snap while the boy screamed in agony. “You wont touch my brother again you prick.”   
When Dean dropped the boy and went to his brother Jake made his slow, painful escape.  
…………………  
Dean kneeled on the ground in front of him and check for any signs of penetration and was relieved to find none. Dean pulled up his little brothers boxers and jeans then rolled him over and covered Sam with his jacket.  
“Dee is that you?” Sam couldn’t open his eyes and fell back asleep.  
TBC


	16. Rain

Dean carried Sam upstairs while his little brother clung to him like a life preserver.   
He kicked open the bedroom door and put Sam on the bed, “Sammy can you see me…please open up your eyes for me baby boy.” Sam’s eyes were only slits but Dean was relieved he responded to his voice, “Dean…what happened?”   
“Never mind baby just don’t worry about that, I want to get you in a bath ok…can I do that for you?”   
“Yes.”  
Dean ran a warm bath and stripped both of them down, he carried Sam in and sat down with him on his lap. He washed his brother’s face and pushed his hair back then noticed the bites and bruises down his neck and collarbone and worked a soapy sponge over the marks.  
“I’m so sorry Sammy, I left you and its my fault.”   
Sam relaxed against him and fell back asleep, Dean sang to him for awhile until he heard Sam’s breath come at a gentle pace.   
…………  
The next morning Dean brought in a breakfast tray, sat on the bed and looked at Sam. He had his back to Dean and was laying there holding a mirror examining his neck and shoulders, Sam’s voice came out groggy and slurred, “Who did this…why did you leave me?”  
Dean took the mirror away and propped him up with pillows, “Do you feel like eating something Sam, I made pancakes for you.” Sam shook his head no and stared at the wall.  
Dean left the tray and got up to leave, “Dean stay with me I don’t want to be alone anymore.” The words had a double meaning that Dean picked up on, “Sure Sammy I promise I wont leave you alone.”  
Sam watched him as he took his clothes off and got in bed getting tight against Sam’s body then gently rolling him on top. He looked seriously into his little brothers hazel eyes, “I love you, I’m sorry and that prick will never lay another hand on you because I am pretty sure I busted his fingers.”  
Sam got a lazy smile on his face and rested his head on Dean’s chest, “You’re my hero Dean, I love you.”  
…………..  
Ages 12/16  
Dean drove his beloved Impala to high school now with Sam as his faithful companion always in the passenger seat.  
Dean was the man, at school when he roamed the halls the bad girls got a tumble from him if they were lucky. The stuck up bitches wanted him but let him know with more finesse, in the end they looked all the same to him.  
Once in awhile there was a girl he found pretty that didn’t respond like the others and those were the rare birds that found themselves the center of attention until Dean Winchester could get what he wanted.  
Rain was new to Dean’s class but was quickly popular with most of her classmates. She had a rare combination of brains and beauty coupled with a warm heart and a tantalizing cast of innocence about her.   
The day Dean Winchester spotted her his mind was blown, she was a petite, shapely Mediterranean goddess with large expressive eyes the color of warm cocoa, when Rain walked down the hall her long raven hair swayed to the movement of her body and Dean had to have her no matter what.  
…………………  
Dean waited until school let out and leaned back against the Impala waiting for his prey. There she was walking toward him in a pack of females all excitedly talking, Dean mumbled under his breath, “Jesus..its like a fucking episode of Wild Kingdom with that jabbering.”  
He caught her eye and nodded to Rain, the other girls giggled and whispered giving their approval of Dean Winchester because at one point or another he had done something with each and every one of them ranging from kissing all the way to full blown, raunchy sex.  
Dean smiled as he got the reaction he wanted and she took her time coming over but it gave him time to really appreciate the view.  
Rain was wearing a short, tight denim skirt and white tank top, Dean noticed with delight, with no bra underneath. Her heels clicked on the sidewalk as she approached and her slender hips swayed back and forth as she walked rhythmically almost hypnotizing him.  
Before Dean knew it the petite beauty was standing there looking up at him, “Hi, your Dean right?” Before he could answer she stuck out a well manicured hand, “My name is Rain.”  
……………  
School let out and Sam came jogging out to the parking lot with his backpack over one shoulder and a smile on his face, the best part of his day was seeing his brother sitting in the car waiting for him. Sam felt so special being his copilot in Dean’s beautiful girl, the Impala.  
Today was different, when Sam got closer to the car there was a girl sitting next to Dean. He put on his brakes not sure exactly what to do but Dean stuck his hand out the window and hitched his thumb toward the back, “Come on Sammy hop in.”   
Sam whipped his backpack against the opposite door and got in the backseat. He didn’t say anything but when Dean looked up in the mirror Sam was trying to bore a hole through Dean’s skull with his mind.   
“Sam this is Rain, Rain this is my baby brother Sam.”  
She turned around and smiled at Sam, “Great to meet you Sam.” Sam nodded but didn’t say anything then leaned his head against the window.   
Rain looked over at Dean and touched his shoulder, “Dean he is adorable just like you said.” Rain leaned over the backseat and pinched Sam’s cheek, “Someday you are going to be a real lady killer.”  
Sam gave her a big, bright smile, dimples and all and fake as could be, “Gee maybe sooner than later.” The double meaning was totally lost on the girl, she sat back and giggled, “Do you think Sam was flirting with me?”  
Dean watched Sam in the rearview mirror, Sam flipped Dean off. “Yeeeeah…sure something like that, lets go flirting that sounds good.”  
That was the nail in the coffin, Sam didn’t want to be adorable, or sit in the backseat and have her trace a nail down his brother’s bicep.  
Instead Sam wanted to slap her hand away, drag her out the car door by her hair, shove Rain under a back tire and have Dean run over her a couple times. Sam smiled wickedly at the thought and felt a little better.  
........................  
After they dropped her off at her home Sam got in the backseat again, Dean frowned and turned around, “Hey, Sam get your skinny little ass up here.”  
Sam pushed the back of Dean’s seat with his chucks which he knew Dean hated, “You already had one skinny little ass sitting there already…don’t need another one.”   
“Sam…I said get your friggin’ ass up here now.” Sam pushed his seat again, “No go to hell Dean.”  
Normally in any other family telling someone to go to hell was a mild threat but in the family of a hunter it took on a darker meaning and was a huge insult. Dean reached back and grabbed his brother, yanking him over the seat while Sam flailed and tried to get a punch in.  
Dean was too strong for him and got Sam in the front, they were both out of breath and nose to nose, “When I tell you to do something Sammy do it…please.”  
Sam leaned in and whispered cruelly “Yes Sir, you sound like dad.”  
Dean let him go and sat back blinking like he had just seen Sam grow an extra head, “That was fucking low Sam…really low.” Dean buckled up and started the car, his eyes were full of tears and he didn’t speak to Sam all the way home.  
……………  
That night Dean sat outside alone by the fire and when Sam approached him Dean didn’t look at him with anger but with pain. Sam thought that was a thousand times worse and wished Dean would have punched him.   
Sam sat at his feet and looked up and him, “I’m sorry Dean, I didn’t mean it, I was mad because of that girl sitting in my spot. You’re not like dad at all, please look at me Dee.”  
Dean looked down at his brothers young face, he looked so tender and innocent but had been so through much in his short twelve years on earth and Dean thought it was unfair that anyone as good as Sam should have to endure anything. Dean realized most of the time he was the cause of not only the joy but also the pain in his brothers life.  
“Sam I’m going to be with other people, I mean you’re my best friend and my brother….hell I love you more than anyone ever but I have needs. Baby boy you know I’m not a monk, I have a strong drive and right now its telling me to fuck that Rain chick. The more she gives me grief the more of a challenge it is, think of it like hunting, once I get her I go on to the next one.”  
Dean finished his beer and opened another, Sam noticed there were four empty bottles already. Dean looked up at the stars and smiled, “None of them will ever really get me Sammy.”  
Dean sat on the ground next to his brother and looked at him through a haze of alcohol, he put his hand on Sam’s knee, “Baby boy you are the only one that can look at all this damage and blackness in me and still love me for being who I really am.”  
Tears of frustration began to course down his face and he leaned his forehead against Sam’s. “Sometimes Sammy…sometimes I wish…” Dean’s voice trailed off and he moved away.  
Sam crawled over and sat next to him, “What do you wish Dean…come on tell me.”  
Dean got up and brushed off his pants, “Nothing in particular Sammy, come on time sleep buddy.”  
He pulled Sam up and Dean walked ahead while his little brother lagged behind, dejected and leaving bits of broken heart by the fire.  
TBC


	17. A Kiss To Build A Dream On

Dean spent a week working his magic over the new girl while Sam had things of his own to think about.  
Sam was standing at his locker when someone shoved a piece of paper in his hands, it was a flyer for the junior high dance. A cute girl from Sam’s class was standing there smiling at him, Sam remembered her from math class. Her name was Rachel and sat right behind him.  
Rachel twirled a long blonde curl around her finger, “Hi Sam, have you asked anyone to the dance yet?”   
“No.”  
“Come with me then, I’m inviting you….unless you’re dating someone but I didn’t think so.”  
Sam hesitated but then he remembered the last several days of sitting in the back of the Impala. “Yes Rachel I would love to go with you.”   
He smiled broadly at her and his dimples made Rachel want to faint. She sat behind him looking at the nape of his long neck covered partly in soft pretty waves, Sam’s broad shoulders and listening to his voice. She thought he was the hottest guy in school except for his brother.   
Sam touched her shoulder and nodded toward the door, “After school my brother can give you a ride home, you can sit in the back with me.” She squealed in delight then clapped her hands over her mouth in embarrassment. “Oh my god, I can’t believe I made that noise, yes I would love to!”  
Sam slammed his locker and ran his finger over her cheek, “Awesome meet you out front when the bell rings”  
Sam knew he had an ace in the hole.  
…………….  
Dean waited in the Impala with Rain waiting for Sam to get out of class, he knew the girl was slowly getting hooked on him but it seemed it was taking forever. Normally Dean could seal the deal pretty quickly but he just took it in stride, not every hunt could go smoothly.  
He put his hand on the inside of her thigh and squeezed but didn’t look at her, he knew she was watching him and it made him smile. He decided to drive her crazy until she begged for it.  
“Do you like my dress Dean? I bought it especially for you.”  
Dean finally turned to her and moved his eyes along her body, “Looks nice but I’d like it better off.” He pushed his hand up higher and slid a finger into the crotch of her panties.  
Rain shut her eyes and opened her knees wider. She let out a small moan but Dean never went any farther.  
……………..  
Sam Walked out the door of the school holding a girls hand and smiling, Dean pulled his hand away from Rain and sat up tracking the couple with his eyes. When Sam opened the back door for her and then got in on the other side Dean watched them in the rearview mirror, “Sam, who is your little friend?” Sam smiled sweetly at her, “This is Rachel, we are going to the dance together this weekend, I thought you could give her a ride home.”  
Deans jaw tightened and he white knuckled the steering wheel, “Sure, just this one time I can’t do this every day.”  
Rachel looked at Sam with worry, “Oh I’m sorry I can still catch the bus, I thought it was ok.” Sam patted her hand, “He’ll do it was a smile on his face right Dean?”  
Dean turned around and glared at his brother, “Sure Sammy, anything for you baby boy.”  
Both of the girls felt the tension between the brothers, the air was thick with it and Rachel was wishing she had taken the bus after all.  
..........................  
That night Sam was sitting by the fire absentmindedly poking the embers with a stick, he had the boom box sitting next to him listening to music.   
Dean approach and when he looked up Dean was holding out a beer, “You want one Sam?” He had never offered any to his brother before and Sam took it gladly, happy to share the moment with his brother. Dean set the cooler down and sat next to Sam. They clinked their bottles together and Dean smiled at his little brother softly, “So what’s on your mind Sammy, besides campfires and old music?”   
“I don’t know how to dance…Dean I’m going to a dance Saturday and I am going to make a fool out of myself.” Sam looked over at him with tears in his wide, hazel eyes and Dean melted inside, “What if I have to slow dance with her and I mess this up Dean no one will like me, I’m so weird…you wouldn’t understand.” Sam closed his eyes and drank until he got to the end of the bottle and coughed the beer out of his mouth.  
“Sammy take it easy on that, I gave you so we could enjoy one together not so you could chug it as fast as you could.” Dean pulled the hair off Sam’s face, “First off if everyone could see your pretty face once in awhile maybe they would notice you.”   
Dean grinned at his brother and held his own face, “That’s why my hair is so damn short, I can’t cover up all of this pretty.” Sam burst out laughing, “Ok that’s better, enough crying in your beer over not being about to dance. It just so happens I am pretty good at slow dancing.” Dean got up and checked out the tapes Sam had in the box, “Get up I’ll give you a lesson.”  
Sam got up and waited, Dean smiled and held the tape up, “Yeah this is it…perfect.” He put it in and turned it up, “A Kiss To Build A Dream On” by KD Lang started to play.  
Dean placed Sam’s hands and his own, “Just move with me, its not formal dancing baby, its relaxed and you feel the music inside…your body does the rest.” Dean tried to move but Sam was frozen, Dean whispered in his ear, “Don’t over think it sweetheart.”  
Dean closed his eyes loving the old standard, Mary used to sing it to him when he couldn’t fall asleep. Their mother had a beautiful voice and Dean felt special when she sang the beautiful lyrics. Sometimes he sang it with her and after she died Dean sang it to Sam when he couldn’t sleep. The song was a precious memory for the brothers.  
They started to move slowly, Sam looked up and locked onto the beautiful green eyes that haunted his dreams and trembled, it was the single most romantic thing that had ever happened to him and he felt like the most beautiful, desirable person in the entire world. Sam knew at that moment how everyone fell in love with his brother.  
Dean’s lips were parted and his eyes half closed feeling Sam sway gently against his body and every nerve was lit on fire. He was intoxicated by the dance and no amount of sex from strangers could live up to this moment in time with his baby in his arms. A realization hit him, something locked way broke out and reared its head demanding attention and Dean kept pushing it away.   
Then Sam leaned against him and whispered, sing to me…please Dee sing.” Dean reached over and hit play again to start the song, not missing a beat with his brother.  
Give me a kiss to build a dream on   
And my imagination will thrive upon that kiss   
Sweetheart, I ask no more than this   
A kiss to build a dream on 

Give me a kiss before you leave me   
And my imagination will feed my hungry heart   
Leave me one thing before we part   
A kiss to build a dream on  
“Come on Sammy you know this, sing it with me baby,”  
Sam looked up at him and started to sing quietly until his voice matched his brothers and Dean was elated, he was on top of the world and nothing could bring him down.   
When I'm alone with my fancies...i'll be with you   
Weaving romances...making believe they're true 

Give me your lips for just a moment   
And my imagination will make that moment live   
Give me what you alone can give   
A kiss to build a dream on  
They both stopped and stared at each other, Dean took his fingers and tilted his brothers chin, Sam closed his eyes and his breath was coming quickly in anticipation of the real kiss, the kiss that Sam dreamed of for as long as he could remember and his body ached for those full lips to take him away from this life.  
Dean fit his lips gently around his brothers and really kissed him. No games, no stories, wrestling or joking. No tears made Dean do it or begging or forgiveness, he kiss Sam Winchester because he wanted to do it and he didn’t care. Dean chased away the voices in his head and let it happen.  
Sam wrapped his arms around his brother’s neck and held him tightly afraid it would end and Dean would run away forever. Then Dean did pull away and took Sam to the ground with him, he pulled him back and took Sam’s mouth again as his own.  
Dean kissed him like a delicate, beautiful creature he was unworthy to even touch let alone kiss so he gave his all with the only goal to please his brother, to make the this moment so special that even if Sam kissed Rachel it would mean nothing to him.   
Dean made it so everyone else would pale in comparison but what he didn’t know is that Sam already felt that way.  
Then Bobby was at the end of the long driveway, his truck lights shining in the dark while he got the mail and Dean bolted up inadvertently pushed Sam off him.  
“Oh god…Sammy I’m sorry, what did I do…oh fuck.” Dean paced and then gathered the beer bottles and the cooler.   
Sam was still on the ground watching him, “Dean stop please, don’t leave me.” Sam was crying now and slowly got up. “Please don’t leave me…don’t…” Dean was already heading toward the house.   
The music ended and Sam stood there feeling as if he was going to die.  
TBC


	18. Green Eyed Monster

Sam tried the bathroom door but it was locked, “Dean please can I come in?” There was no answer. Sam went back downstairs where Bobby was sorting through his gear, “How did the hunting go Bobby?”  
Bobby looked at Sam’s crestfallen face and tried to be cheerful, “Hey it went great, we cleared out a whole nest. You boys practice your shooting while I was gone?”  
Sam dropped on the couch, “Yeah, it went well, I’m out of 9mm ammo though, I think I need to sight in my pistol, its pulling to the left.” Sam looked at him and Bobby could tell he wanted to talk about more than guns. He sighed and held up his hand, “Hang on Sam, I can tell I’m going to need a beer or two for this.”  
Bobby sat in the recliner and pointed the bottle toward Sam then drank, “Ok go for it.”  
“Bobby what if you were in love with someone like…forever and you couldn’t sleep or eat…you cried and only felt good when he was around…like…I don’t know I can’t love anyone else ever.”  
Bobby pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes, he had lots of things he wanted to say but simple he decided was better. “Sam is it that Kelly kid?” Bobby knew it wasn’t but he was hoping it was to make it easier.  
“No…If I told you I think you would hate me so I wont tell.”  
“Ok Sam you don’t need to, I have an idea. I want to tell you first off that I love you, nothing you tell me could make me hate you. Both you and Dean are my boys, always will be and that’s a fact, with something like that there is this thing called unconditional love.”  
Sam smiled and nodded,  
“Sam I guess if you really love this guy…you’re gay right…I just want to be sure we are on the same page.”  
“I…yeah…Bobby I am. I have a date with a girl on Saturday though.”  
Bobby held up his hand again, “Hold that thought, I really need something stronger.” He came back with a bottle of top shelf and a glass, “Ok shoot.”  
“Well this guy kissed me, he really and truly kissed me like romantic,” Sam’s face became animated and his hazel eyes shined with a memory of something special, “we danced and he sang to me, then we sang together and that’s when we started kissing.” Sam’s cheeks flared pink and he looked down shyly after revealing all of it.  
“What do I do, he got scared and ran away…he has girls and sometimes guys after him. I know he loves me though, that way like as his boyfriend, I can tell…”  
The words tumbled out of Sam in a mix of emotions and Bobby just listened letting the boy get it out but not once did he say it was Dean. When he was done that was when Bobby answered as simple as he could.  
“If this guy truly loves you Sam, someday he is gonna show you for real and commit to you. You’re a good lookin’, smart young man and you deserve to be treated right, don’t accept less or come second to anyone. You are fourteen and have a lot of time for this to happen.”  
Bobby chuckled, “I got drawers older than you son, enjoy being young and if you date some other people along the way until he comes around then go for it. If another person comes along and wins your heart its gonna be his lose.”  
Sam looked at the floor and his eyes filled with tears, “You think that’s what’s going to happen?”  
Bobby got up and pointed to the stairs, “I can’t read minds or tell the future so lets just see. I bet this guy is crazy in love you but just don’t let your heart get broken…either of you….ok son? Go get some sleep.”  
Sam smiled up at him, “Ok, thanks Bobby.”  
……………….  
Dean dropped Sam and his date Rachel off at the dance, he decided to do it just to keep an eye on the situation which was killing him inside but Dean would never let his brother know. “Ten…got that Sammy? Ten o’clock I’ll be here, you and ,….”  
Sam rolled his eyes, “Rachel.”  
“Yeah Rachel, better have your butts right here,” he pointed to Rachel and narrowed his eyes, “Got it sister?”  
She answered meekly, “Yes, promise.”  
They walked toward the school and Dean yelled out the window, “No screwing around.” Sam turned around and yelled back, “Gross…shut up and get out of here now!”  
……………..  
Dean looked over at Rain and smiled his most beautiful smile and she was sufficiently dazzled, “So what should we do in the meantime beautiful?” Two weeks of dating and Dean still hadn’t sealed the deal, she was driving him nuts. He couldn’t move on until he bagged the princess.  
She shrugged, “I don’t know, what do you want to do?”  
Dean pulled her on his lap and nuzzled her neck, “How about we go somewhere and you sit on my face awhile….I want to wear you like a hat for about an hour…would you like that?”  
She closed her eyes while his lips explored her skin, Rain felt like her heart would beat right out of her chest. She grabbed his face in her hands and searched the emerald green eyes for a spark of love or affection but none was there.  
She examined the pale dusting of freckles and the lips so lush the thought of them going down south for a tour of the delta was enough for Rain to decide that love and affection where highly overrated. “Yes…lets go right now.”  
…………..  
Sam stood with Rachel while she talked to her friends and showed off Sam. He was uncomfortable being the center of attention and wished he was more like his brother. A slow song started and Rachel pulled him out on the dance floor.  
“Oh I love this song Sam.” She wrapped her arms around him and they started to move slowly, the dancing was awkward and Sam realized she really didn’t know how either. He smiled and relaxed remembering everything Dean told him about just feeling the music.  
………………  
Dean and Rain were parked at the beach, she sat there trying not to stare at him but it was difficult not to. Even his profile in the moonlight was beautiful, “Dean…what are you thinking about?”  
Dean let out a little groan of irritation, “If I told you baby you couldn’t run fast enough.”  
Dean was thinking about Sam at the dance with the girl who’s name started with an R but wasn’t important enough for him to remember. Then Dean wondered if Sam was thinking about him right now or if that girl was pawing him.  
Dean closed his eyes and thought about the dance and the passionate kiss he shared with his brother, it was different from all the others they shared through the years and if he thought about it hard enough it was as if Dean could feel Sam’s warm little mouth on his working frantically to own as much as he could of Dean.  
He felt himself getting hard thinking about it, how he wanted to grope Sam and how wrong it all was. Sam was twelve, his little brother an innocent but that made his cock strain all the harder again his zipper.  
“So you wanna hop in the back, I promise you’re going to love it Rain.”  
“Dean I have to tell you something, I’ve never been with a boy before. I’m nervous and I don’t know if I’ll be any good.” She looked away watching the water and awaiting a response.  
That bit of information just made him all the more excited, “Really…wow ok I don’t run across that very often, look I play it safe so I have condoms if that’s what your worried about, I’m not total jerk.”  
Dean leaned over, licked her ear and whispered, “Fair warning though, I think you’re going to be ruined for other guys after this but its ok. Most people end up having to settle for less just so you know.”  
She smiled at him, “I’m not worried about that, I have a girlfriend. Maybe you should worry about being compared to her.”  
Suddenly Dean’s bravado faded, he planned on taking a trip down south but now he had to compete against someone with the same equipment as Rain. He quickly gathered courage and hitched his thumb toward the back seat, “I’m not too worried.”  
Rain got out and pulled off her tank top and bra but before she got to her skirt Dean pushed her against the fender, yanked it off then picked her up and set Rain on the hood. He cupped both breasts and began working a nipple between his fingers while he placed a well versed set of lips over the other.  
He worked them until they were tender and just when she thought she couldn’t take anymore he pulled off them and gently pushed her back on the hood of the car. Her legs dangled over the edge and she started to push her hips up while he watched her a few minutes. “Dean please…I can’t take waiting.”  
He put her legs over his shoulders and ran his tongue over the little white panties she was wearing all the way down the slit.  
Now for Dean Winchester making her come and fucking her was his singular goal that night. “I’m gonna make her scream like fucking banshee by the time this is over…..I wonder what Sam is doing….damn it Sammy get the hell out of my head….just concentrate.”  
………………….  
Sam brought Rachel something to drink and they sat on the bleachers together, “Thanks Sam, you are such a nice guy, I really like you a lot.” She gave him a kiss on the cheek and smiled.  
Sam looked everywhere but at Rachel, he didn’t want to hurt her feelings because Sam truly thought she was sweet and could be a good friend. He had no idea what to do now and wished it was ten o’clock so they could go outside and meet Dean.  
“I wonder what Dean is doing with that stupid Rain girl…I supposed I’ll have to sit in the backseat forever…what if he is kissing her right now….is he even thinking about me?”  
Rachel touched his arm, “Sam what are your thinking about, you look so sad.” He put on a brave smile, “Nothing…nothing at all.”  
TBC

Please Note, the complete story which is over a hundred chapters can be found through this link. I haven't been about to download the chapters here and have been doing copy/paste and its very time consuming. Sorry about that! https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9361921/1/Paint-It-Black-Part-1  
or you can look it up under Winter Gray ................................................................


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